#78 Devious Deeds

Episode 78

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J & Z talk about the top weird sex things on urban dictionary, our top 5 animated movies, and more. Subscribe to Patreon you lizards.
[Music] hear me okay
can you hear me i can hear you my legs are touching on my phone oh my god yeah he’s more in the corner i like it i like
it i do i do i do i do yeah but dabba do donkey dick
yabba dabba don’t yeah but you can add her endangering a child to the list of charges and when it comes to
running from law enforcement yeah but don’t don’t and now it seems they’re putting a baby on top of the dinosaur
oh wait whoa whoa
how about you do one a lot of pressure yeah there is
welcome back slapsticks this is around the lunch table episode 78.78
you’re having me start off yeah i was just going to say sorry that we didn’t do an episode earlier we had some predicaments come up so yeah and we have
real jobs yeah we do have real [ __ ] jobs [ __ ] you guys uh first and foremost we want to do uh we’re not gonna we’re
gonna do us before the sponsor patreon.com slash around the lunch table uh for exclusive content
and there is there is a patreon exclusive episode up right now if you haven’t seen it yet and a lot of raving reviews from fans so was there no
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podcast i want to go to our sponsors uh first saying aperture oceans bringing ads and ideas to life that feels weird
i also want to bring up live stallion never be tamed not doing that it’s not it’s a [ __ ] selling horse
not never contained uh brought to you by uh around the lunch table’s own alumni brandon body out of spelt brand in the
usual way body out of b-a-t-t i-t-a-t-o no that’s not [ __ ] whatever you [ __ ]
you you don’t even pay us uh brandon body otto uh for uh liv stallion doing a
weekly actually daily uh workouts if you want to say i don’t usually do this okay stop it um
doing daily workouts and uh if you want to see him sweat it up on the stair stepper and crush that [ __ ] then check
him out uh z who’s our last sponsor got moles [Laughter]
oh got moles um one of the most pristine and prestige mole exterminator in the
puget sound area um our guy spencer hill who will be on the episode next week yeah next week we
will have spencer hill next week and stay tuned ladies and gentlemen state champs coming back because it’s about to
get electrifying because within a couple weeks we are looking at a huge massive a fun great guest
and if you saw the instagram story for a day i saw it you saw it yeah if you saw it
you saw it but one of the i mean one of the biggest comedy podcasts out there in the united states of america
uh one of them unfortunately no it’s not joe rogan okay it’s not joe wiggin he’s not comedy but
well he has comedy parts but i mean yeah but the thing is if i heard that i’m like oh joe rogan yeah revving joe dude
i would [ __ ] come i would smoke weed 100 yeah you’d smoke weed i would have i’d
always i would do meth if jordan if if jordan if joe rogan was like dude i’m doing better like okay i’m doing it with
you yeah i mean if he was just like dude we’re gonna [ __ ] rip these bath salts i’m like okay i don’t know about that
just you make the line and i’ll snort it baby don’t know okay i just did it
oh you didn’t you didn’t finish serve servicing you got to tell him where he said the puget sound area northern seattle to
southern tacoma northern seattle the southern tacoma and the puget sound area i did that andy make sure
what oh and he’ll make sure you got no more moles no mo there we go there we go beautiful uh ladies and gentlemen one
it’s great to be [ __ ] back uh me and z have just been the busiest bees in the hive lately but we are proud you know i
feel like we’re energized today i know i feel like i i i
i feel like we’ve we’ve been rejuvenated um again we’re sorry honestly we’ve been
we’re getting really good with the consistency of that we’ve been a little spotty and then we went right back to our old ways but it was i promise you it
was a good excuse it wasn’t like we’re just like no we’re not gonna do it it was an absolute [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah it was a sh it was a challenge he didn’t get
off the [ __ ] i got off to like eight yeah yeah yeah a lot of corporate meetings with carpet events you get it so z i
have something for you today okay um and this idea came to me in a dream a
dream no i’m kidding a dream or a vision uh isn’t it is a vision of dream
you know i don’t uh like a vision could be like when when people say oh i had a vision i think
you’re awake because then it’s a vision you are seeing it consciously but a dream
it also feels like you’re saying it well then you wake up and then you’re like oh [ __ ] i’m glad i didn’t do that like a vision that’s like uh like native
american back in the old tribes i had a vision yeah the worst dreams are like they’re not nightmares but it’s just
slow creek killed parking river yeah um barking river what am i [ __ ]
talking about oh my god i have a funny story though okay yeah i hit it i actually had the really weird encounter at the gas station and actually it was
my fault 100 because it was me who was weird and i didn’t know so i’m filling up gas in my work truck
right and i’m on this side of the pump you know there’s two sides of a of a pump yes and so apparently this there
was a guy there but that had walked up with like a gas can so i didn’t know no one was at the gas station no one was at the pumps
and i’m by myself most of the day so it’s like i sometimes i’ll just talk to myself i’ll just say something and so
he’s on the other side like like about to fill this like gas can up because he’s standing there but i didn’t see him so i pull up and i’m sitting
there like i’m hold like i’m looking at the gas and like this tank is [ __ ] huge since i got past 100 past 150 i’m
like god you’re a thirsty [ __ ] aren’t you and i said it and i just i said that i thought i was by myself i was just like
i was like laughing myself look on the corner and the guy look and he looks down really quick like oh my the second
i made cause like i heard like a the like you know when it stops yeah it goes i go like this i’m like
and he’s like he looked down just walked away i’m like did he see anything back no he just obviously was weirded the [ __ ] out you thirsty i’m like i’m like
you’re a thirsty little [ __ ] and honestly it could have been worse than i could have said it worse yeah i
could have been like well you’re thirsty [ __ ] well that’s a good segue into what i have because uh these are definitely worse and really bad um well i was on a
segway how’s the gas pump me talking to myself no because it’s a thirsty little [ __ ] and it could be worse uh there’s nothing worse than these i haven’t read
them yet and that’s honest to god uh because i wanted to save it for this um
i did find a a website that listed the top i think
actually i don’t know the number 12 13. uh weirdest sexual
things what were you looking up what were you looking at no i got the idea oh you know i was like oh what would be
funny so from urban dictionary now your algorithm is going to be all nice oh yeah now i’m just going to now you’re going to get now you’re going to get
[ __ ] bait if you want oh good yeah would if you had a [ __ ] would you
pierce it no no i don’t think i will it’s not for pleasure it’s just for stock i don’t it’s for the aesthetics i think that’s a
european thing really europeans don’t wear deodorant isn’t that strange i don’t know if that’s a is any well
actually sam did say yeah i think i thought maybe and she’s a reliable source cause she was there a whole two months
so you know um no but i i don’t know if that’s a universal thing but maybe maybe it is i don’t know
interesting have you ever like uh you know like when your girlfriend or others are uh
like they want to like lay on you but then like your armpits up and their heads right there it’s just like oh like i’m just not a fan of armpits i i don’t
think anyone goes into a situation like let’s see this thing there’s got to be an armpit fetish there’s probably there’s people out there who [ __ ] the
there’s a fetish for everything but i i don’t know if that’s the specific thing but i don’t really wait
i mean if it doesn’t smell bad then like i’m not yeah i’m not gonna nuzzle my mouth in it but i’m not afraid of it like whoa like it’s a bear i’m just like
can’t move can’t move before it’s gonna eat me okay so um these get better as they go we’re going to start so it’s top
we’re going to do like 13 of them 10. 10 10. choose five
it’s it’s just just just go on okay you you told me there’s you’re gonna have to guess whatever but like
13 of them i said 10. we’re not doing 10. okay well then we’re gonna start at uh one do you know who tony danza is
tony danza sounds familiar okay then we’re gonna skip number ten because that’s what the name of the section i don’t know okay i
don’t i don’t is he a porn star uh maybe i don’t know okay so we’re gonna start with number eight i was gonna say producer but maybe it could be the same
in the film industry you know okay we’re gonna start with number eight here z uh so i have them written down here and
then i can switch to see what it actually means so number three is called the angry pirate
so let’s see angry pirate okay so we dissect this okay but i’m i’m serious i
i feel like some of these names it’s not exactly what it sounds like some of them it’s gotta be if it was like the wheelbarrow for example it would be like
someone holding them by their feet that would make sense because it could be you know i’m saying an angry pirate how does a pirate stand how does a pirate act is
he smart is he smug does you know what i mean he’s scurvy it’s when two people who haven’t had
vitamin c in months they [ __ ] wait what’s it called the angry pirates so he’s mad so he’s mad i mean the first
thing i thought about obviously this isn’t it’s not a sex position but the first thing i thought of her like with the hook and his fingers in the puss oh
the old penny said he’s hooking trying to get that but come here come here yeah the old come hither deer yeah or the friendly
scissors um i’m like so when i think of an angry pirate obviously someone just stole his
booty you know his gold oh that’s what they call effort yeah so he’s angry about it he grabbed his
cheeks and they ran off yeah i’m thinking maybe like he got [ __ ] in the ass honestly i can’t put a visual on
what position that would be to be honest okay and these are this is what the top weirdest positions yeah so this is obviously up there it’s it’s it’s not
your did you look at it look at that right now it’s kind of shitty because you can’t put it up on the screen but well we’ll
we’ll read it to him the angry pirate when a man is about to climax he pulls out shoots his wad into a woman’s eye
then positions that’s not a sex position then kicks her in the shin so she looks and walks like a pirate
i think this is just top ten okay sex thing i think this is the top ten like weirdest sex things out of those positions okay okay sorry okay i totally
didn’t read it okay yeah that is funny though kicks her in the shin and she’s limping
that’s good okay uh yeah well he’s called that the benedict cumber patch
the guy who plays doctor strange they should
no i think it’s eye patch come comfort patch comfort patch cumber patch what
was a briar patch remember that as a kid there was like a no i know brian’s ice cream there was also a bunny that fell
on the briar patch it was like an old what is a briar i think is that worse i mean briar ice cream is the first thing i think of but
obviously it’s not the same thing yeah that’s dryers right there’s a briars and dryers briars and dryers i think there
is yo alex is telling me today it’s something you know she [ __ ] um no i’m kidding i love you but uh no
yeah it’s okay yeah it’s okay i’m not offended no but she might but i know she was telling me about something about
antiques or maybe this guthrie was telling me about it maybe just now on there there yeah when i was cooking i was listening to the conversations that
were being had yeah that’s interesting i was just very i mean it is and it is someone but they were telling them oh she was talking to no she was talking
about like actually talking to guthrie about like the cats like like when cats like get
this from like why when did you become a cat behavioral no did you not say this to the group no
i was cooking wait today all day when they should send a tick tock i didn’t watch it though oh no it was like cats
like to be in boxes because they have anxiety or some [ __ ] i don’t know and they need to be have pills
[Laughter] um but no she was talking about how there was like an antique washing machine and it was like you churned
butter with like a wooden stick and that’s how you wash it oh i’ve yeah i’ve heard it i’ve heard that wasn’t even a funny fact it was just interesting that
yeah they put like they put the water in the soap in there and it’s yeah it’s like you’re mixing a big bowl of
pasta wow okay the next one is called the kentucky klondike bar okay this has got
to be something with [ __ ] with poop how did you get that from dyke bar oh
because it’s got chocolate on the outside so yeah i’m gonna go boy what’s that what’s that one it’s the frosty gym
yeah they call yeah i’m saying anything i think it might be the frosting it’s got to be wait okay klondike frozen it’s
got to be like one of those like like you know what’s that what’s that frosty gym is it a frosty gym or was like alabama hot pocket no a frosty gym
is where you poop in the condom okay yeah that’s okay i know yeah yeah that’s disgusting okay i’m gonna guess
that that’s a good guess yeah okay we’re gonna go that’s [ __ ] so gross um the kentucky klondike bar
oh my god we got it yeah let’s go the act of freezing your poo
and then penetrating your parter partner with said no way people are into that as with most of these positions that
include both feces and vaginal penetration this can lead to infection thank you yeah no [ __ ] you’re putting actual [ __ ]
inside you it’s weird because it’s called dysentery but i hear something interesting
so you poop and then you put the poop back can you get an infection it was already up there
what do you mean like say i poop okay and then i freeze it and put in a condom
and then i [ __ ] myself with it right that poop that was mine was already in me it doesn’t it doesn’t it’s but i can
still get an infection yes from what the poop was came out okay but when maybe someone else
either way i’m just saying there’s a reason why for example i’m pretty sure this is the thing don’t get me wrong like girls
i’m saying girls because there’s holes very close in proximity to each other which that can cause it can cause
yes it can cause an infection if you get anything on you know what i’m saying even though it’s yours i’m saying it goes through your body and it’s on like
your vagina if they’re wiping and it kind of gets on their their hoo-ha they can cause an infection the poo yes in
concert do you wipe down or up i’m actually a one in one really yeah
i’m actually see the one of my super powers is i have ghost poops okay i know you said you know what you’re streaming
humble about i’m have ghost poops i never have to wipe no i do wipe but there’s nothing like or you have the one that’s just like you know you’re going
it’s like it never stops oh yeah it’s like it’s like you’re wiping a marker or something yeah it’s like a it’s like an otter pop that just keeps going up and
you just keep it’s like if you’re like a dry erase marking like this okay yeah
yeah those are weird they’re [ __ ] know i have ghost poops so i don’t wipe you nasty [ __ ] no i do always wipe
do you always look at it everyone looks at me that’s like when you blow your nose yeah
you gotta look at it it’s weird you’re so like let’s let’s see the damage have your blue or nose not looked at it maybe if
it’s like a like uh if you know it or like you’re in public and people like look i’m like i’m not gonna go yeah like in class when kids would look when
kids would blow their nose and go like this like you nasty [ __ ] even though i do that they’re just watching it just like
peel apart like cheese yeah melted cheese what’s the [ __ ] out of here there was a girl named emily in my eighth
grade class who would pick her nose like i knew a girl ate her boogers really
reading bugs until like eighth grade no [ __ ] yeah wow i’d watch it you were like yeah it’s
like she’s eating a bag of kettle corn just oh [ __ ] just just throwing them in one at a time did she chew or just
swallow them hole it was like a swish around the mouth okay i almost just puked that is just
yeah until she was like in eighth grade and i only know this because i had i was with her in like every class for like since from seventh grade even
to sophomore year i was in the same classes or somehow one or two of the same classes and i would watch her all
the time was definitely homeschooled i mean i was homeschooled
yeah but you turned out all right um i know a lot of school kids will turn out okay yeah of course i’m just saying
jordan’s not one of them but i’m just saying the odds are yeah okay uh the next one i have the minivan
this could be a few different things yeah the minivan sometimes i think of the bus driver but the thing is you you said positions at first and
obviously the position i didn’t actually read the list that’s what i kind of thought it’s a top urban deck okay minivan what do you think i’m thinking
back seats back doors you know that kind of i’m thinking like eight people in one car
could be yeah a minivan holds a lot of people okay maybe not a specific number but a group maybe it’s a maybe it’s a
great it’s a gang bang that’s again that that’s what i think a minivan is a gang bang in a minivan
minivan model bukaki bukkaki is such a gross such a gross remember that that t-shirt that said
pancakes yeah it’s got the one pancake it’s like there’s like 80 bottles
that’s so bad it’s so disgusting yeah look i’m sorry but the problem is is
that someone out there has bought that shirt and worn it out like oh this is
[ __ ] sick have you ever seen the one i only saw i saw a video this kid was like 10 and i guess they went to the
store and he thought it was the mcdonald’s like the yellow whatever you call it arches
arches and it was it was an m but the bottom of like the m was like heels facing out
oh and it was like like something yeah look it looked like a girl laying spread eagle oh my god he was like i’m loving it he wore to school he’s like what what
does it mean i thought it was mcdonald’s like it’s not mcdonald’s it’s not mickey d’s anyways i actually got in trouble one time me and christian camerazil
we uh we this is the dumbest thing we’re freshmen and they get this camera guy and he goes up on the scissor lift to take a picture
of the whole scissor lift scissor lift you know oh yeah yeah sorry
and uh which this is the stupidest thing because obviously they’re gonna see it and they take a picture of the whole class and me and christian they’ll be
funny to go in the pictures let me do the like remember when that was just like a thing everyone would do like the [ __ ] with
the two fingers yeah and so we did the two fingers stuck our tongue you know for people listening everything
thing and uh people listening like they’re gonna still know two fingers you know i just did i explained it okay yeah
and uh dude we actually got out of it because we just acted dumb mr booker calls us in and then he’s like so
there’s this picture do you guys know what you were doing we’re like oh we thought it was just like a funny sign he’s like do you know what it’s for
we’re like no it’s for licking [ __ ] and he was like it’s for uh uh oh wait what what’s the word fellatio
that’s what he called it fellatio that’s the scientific term for eating cooch he definitely looked that up
yeah he did before yeah he’s like i got an x-mark yeah he yeah he did it we’re like full and then we didn’t know what fellatio meant so he’s like from the
latin term fellatio yeah well no uh we said we didn’t know what that meant because i actually know that [ __ ] men then he said it’s for oral sex and we’re
like oh my god i’m so sorry well we had no idea and it still made it in the yearbook no i’m kidding okay
so the next one we have we have the cosby sweater oh no the
cosby sweater [ __ ] in a museum i mean that’s where they’re at uh maybe it’s like
a bunch of loads on a sweater and she puts it on or maybe the loads make the sweater
you i don’t think that’s see it could metaphorical i don’t think it has to do with an actual sweater
i don’t need so either i think this is a metaphorical sweater it could be man the mysterious one oh this is a dirty
episode i’ll tell you that they’re all end up dirty they end up dirty-ish but this one’s dirty this is not the worst
one we’ve ever i think this are you kidding me the kentucky klondike bar
are you serious this isn’t the dirtiest episode we’ve done and then there’s a couple more still so yeah i’m in a safe decision okay the cosby sweater
um i’m gonna say it has to be one aspect didn’t the cozy sweaters used to be in the smithsonian that’s why i said a
museum so maybe you’re banging in the smithsonian i don’t know i don’t think that’s i know um
i always want to go to smithsonian i’ve been there it’s nice yeah mm-hmm what’d you do with smithsonian on the dc trip
we went oh i don’t think we went there yeah um the uh
i would say when you think of a sweater it’s something that encompasses and yet grips okay you’re thinking about this
way too quickly well we got to come up with something what the [ __ ] a cosby sweater rape like i don’t know that’s
maybe that’s actually okay whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa maybe maybe maybe it’s like there’s no way that’s on this list though maybe maybe it’s the girl likes
to be like bondage type thing you know what i mean the way cosby likes to do it yeah it’s
like ronda rousey or bill cosby either way he’s not gonna [ __ ] out
so does ronda rousey like it rough or something i don’t know it was a euphemism like oh i’m i’m wrong oh i’m not either way i’m
not going to [ __ ] because we’re on rounds yeah yeah yeah i don’t know i’m not going to guess this there’s no
way okay um i’m interested see what this one is oh i
missed one [ __ ] okay the cosby sweater believe it or not this act involves no drugs
or issues of consent okay okay [Applause] they wouldn’t throw cosby’s name in
there for nothing instead it involves eating colorful cereals fruity loops and fruity out of
their ass and vomiting the tacky and dazzling mixture onto your partner’s chest
resembled the kitschy sweaters cosby wore during the height of his fame
that’s so bad but that’s funny is that that’s funny so i missed one and it was called uh
smasher baiting i’m assuming smash like a fisting yeah
it’s kind of like like hulk smoke smash maybe that’s when you fist it with the hulk hands
no it’s not that intricate i don’t think i’m gonna say fisting or something i’m gonna say whole cans [ __ ]
um it’s like fisting or something like you’re just smashing okay we’re close
when one puts on hulk hands and masturbates with them how do you do that because they don’t
actually open you just maybe or you get a drill a drill and drill a hole through the
whole can and then you can [ __ ] it i don’t know
that is not what were you doing your hands make a fist i know i’m saying they don’t open it so i’m saying i guess you go like this oh the outsides
never mind okay okay we’re done with this we’ve done like five okay we’re on to the
i don’t want to do ten of these dude we’re almost done i don’t wanna okay i don’t wanna do ten the cost you sort of
the kentucky klondike ball okay we already know what the alabama hot pocket is let’s do one just do one just do one more okay well we have three more so i’m
not doing three more just finish it okay number three is the lion king you gotta like lift her up
like this no i know yeah obviously that’s the first thing i think but maybe it’s like okay no that’s a legal name right
maybe like a lion’s
my god that might be it that’s gotta be it oh my god
when hat while having sex pull out just before climax bust into your own hand and then have your lady face you and use
your thumb to smear some sperm on her forehead declaring her simba yeah
let’s go did you know that before no i’m saying i just thought okay and lion king that’s yeah that’s almost like kind of scene i’m like he’s not gonna be lifting
her up and then everyone remember like everyone did that for a long time and they would put that’s really good
my dad used to do that to me but not with [ __ ] i hope not like what do you do
okay uh who’s your favorite character in liking i think mom was timon timon was such a little oh yeah yeah the
little [ __ ] meerkat yeah he was dope as [ __ ] and yeah i think that’s everyone’s favorite well
i like pumbaa too but he’s a fat [ __ ] yeah but i mean he’s a he’s he was funny too but i just like timon because he’s
he’s a wrestler his smile his smile was so big i’m so infectious
and if he falls in love too nice he’s like tearing up anyways um
last two space doc fondue nah i don’t have anything for that space doc okay well docking is when yeah so
the uncircumcised penis and the penis and they dock over each other so they pee in each other’s pee hole no you put
a dick together and you know how the uncircumcised one okay yeah okay
okay this is the last one okay fondue actually let’s just skip this [ __ ] it okay yeah yeah that was sounds
that was really okay well let’s just see what it is okay i don’t okay reserved for party situations a
space doc fondues occurs when a man who’s taken a laxative [ __ ] shits watery diarrhea into the woman’s
hey i’m done nope i don’t want to oh my god i don’t want to hear the rest of this okay we’re not we’re not even that
here’s okay here’s the thing we’re gonna like you know we post clips of the episode i’m not posting any of this [ __ ]
so i didn’t think we’d find a limit to around the lunch table there’s there’s that is
there a limit there we have met our peak space dock fauna that’s like the equivalent of finding like a like a
muslim execution video yeah and you’re like okay i gotta turn this off like at some point even i’m not
i’m not prepared for this and i’m a delinquent but holy [ __ ] that’s that’s a little much oh my god what no i’m saying
i just now my imagination’s running like me and i just don’t want to think about it it’s bad it’s bad do um
do because monkeys obviously um they throw poop no that’s not what i was getting at
monkeys obviously resemble us a lot do you think that there is uncircumcised penises in the animal kingdom well i
don’t think they circumcise each other oh i guess [Laughter]
there’s over there with a sharp rock like let’s listen listen let’s clean this thing up
just a little off the topic [Applause] coming back for a trim oh
i don’t know why i even thought yeah that was a bad one um okay my first thinking okay i guess my
thing was is there odd penises in the animal kingdom that are kind of like the turtles don’t they
have like they look like an elite from halos like they’re [ __ ] yeah but yeah i don’t know it looks like the
alienware’s pride everything that comes out of their yeah yeah cats have weird dicks too right
i’ve never seen oliver’s i think he was he’s fixed isn’t he well they cut his balls off not his
not his dick well i’m sure well his balls are gone that’s 17 his dick doesn’t come out because he doesn’t get hardened no he doesn’t yeah he doesn’t
get anything like that do they get like testosterone and [ __ ] what’s your that’s how some come from is there balls do cats get horny that’s what we need to
know how do you think they reproduce of course they get horny they hump each other yeah have you ever okay we’ve obviously
watched like planet earth and [ __ ] like animals [ __ ] doesn’t look pleasurable
like like animals i don’t think they really care bro i mean i grew up on a on a i’m not gonna call it a farm we’re called a ranch yeah don’t you dare yeah
i grew up on a farm no a ranch because farms grows crops ranch has animals we had cows and chickens and goats and [ __ ]
but you tried the poison yes yes we’ve talked about it several times um no but i like i remember like
you know you know i just be frolicking in the lawn or something and then the breeding bowl comes in puts its hind
legs on the other one and it’s like six seconds and then it’s like and then it like gets that’s the thing that animals are for purpose not
pleasure oh but you said they get horny so then they obviously want pleasure i mean yeah it’s like an instinct thing it’s like oh
like i said something i’m hungry i’m gonna eat they don’t sit down and put a napkin on their neck take little bites and they [ __ ]
swallow it because nutrients okay yeah i mean i’m guessing that i’m guessing if you had a breeding bowl you’d want it to
have premature ejaculation to just get it done right like if you could be reincarnated
if you could reincarnate yourself as any animal i want to be a breeding bull like talk about whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa you want to be a what okay say really mission is real yeah you want to be like i want to be a breeding
bowl what does that mean the bowl that they open up the gates and your job is to impregnate as many cows
as possible oh i see okay yeah i know you get what i’m saying my first reaction i thought you were saying like i
i’m pretty much you want to get [ __ ] and you want to be the breeding bull of like in which you get you know what i
mean you what i don’t i do i said we incarnate as an animal breeding but yeah why do you want to be a canary
i don’t know i thought you meant like the breeding bull the first thing i thought was okay that’s where breeding is done so like people just get [ __ ] i
don’t know oh you think a bowl i i don’t oh bo oh like yeah a breeding bowl i thought you meant
a bowl like b-o-w-l no b-u-l like whoa that’s a lot of
i’m sorry just a cesspool just a bullet that is that’s what i was that was a that was a misunderstanding
yeah i said animal yeah because the breeding bull won best job in the world i mean you open up the gate and it’s
just like hey you need your job is to just get as many of these [ __ ] pregnant as you want and then they’ll
take you away and you don’t got to worry about it you don’t got to raise them they take you to the next ranch jesus
christ what you’re saying that’s not
he told me that’s not a good gig it’s just i don’t know what goes through your head sometimes
that is that is really alex would say you guys would die if you were in my brain like i’m pretty sure i can last a
good good amount i don’t think i’d be actually maybe i’d be surprised by things oh i mean i
surprised i wouldn’t say i wouldn’t i would just be like okay well this makes sense ah we should not be together
dude imagine if your partner i would just be like i should not be in here yeah imagine if your partner could
like see all of your thoughts but the thing is here’s the thing the problem is a lot of them are spontaneous they’re just
like i didn’t really but here if i’m being honest like there’s not a lot of shocking horrible things that i think of
most of things are just like everyday things no yes but if they knew like maybe there were certain things that
annoyed you about your partner oh yeah yeah that no relationship would last exactly yeah which is strange
because no one is ever completely honest no that’s not that’s 100 percent no white lies need to happen yeah of
course not it’s a greater good you know yeah yeah you know it’s like oh do i look good in this dress of course and she of course always does but i’ve
never you know i’ve never had a moment like okay she really doesn’t look good but i’m a dollar no you know what i mean yeah no yeah yeah i’m not gonna tell her
no yeah i’m gonna be like wait are you going out with me or well this is a funny thing well this is a funny thing i was actually rex
no it’s funny because um well she’s walking out of the room i can i can talk [ __ ] about her now oh the [ __ ] oven’s
still on no aaron turned it off no it’s i could see it oh it’s hot surface no the second light at the bottom
i mean hey hey alex can you turn off the oven yeah i think it’s i think it’s on no
turn it on we’re thinking about a pizza on the podcast i think is it on still yeah so yeah yeah
well aaron did a great job thank you okay anyways back to talking [ __ ] about alex
[Laughter] [Music]
that was stupid um i’ll just say it was funny because like it’s one of those things like girls get
offended if you don’t notice little things you know what yeah it’s like but for example when i go to the shower today i did this and she didn’t notice
and she didn’t even know and she i told her like you she’s like i wasn’t looking at your face i’m like you were looking at my face and i’m like
you saw me through the window you waved goodbye she’s like she’s
anyways i think we do uh we do have a top five today oh i wanted to go off one thing with that like okay hell yeah like
uh like my hair got a little bushy you know as it gets longer gotta got a fresh new
little jewy yeah it gets a little gets a little chewy jonah hilly
super bad super bad jonah hilly uh yeah and i actually felt like a [ __ ]
for a second because then i was like i walked in and you know i’m like kind of doing my thing but that’s the thing we don’t give a [ __ ] i don’t give a [ __ ]
the reason i wanted it i’m like no no no no no the reason we care is because if you we did that exactly
the [ __ ] world would stop rotating that doesn’t i don’t notice that’s the only that’s the only reason i care and
the craziest thing the craziest thing is like if like they got a haircut that i didn’t like or something obviously i’m
like oh my god i [ __ ] love it you look so hot yada yada yada but then if my haircut’s slightly [ __ ] up or she’s
like she’s like you look like a [ __ ] egg i’m like yo
the [ __ ] like they don’t tread carefully like no they don’t they think no guys got that that is the
luxury of what i’m saying the guys have to tread a lot more carefully than the women do the women walking on eggshells like that’s what that’s why the woman
have so many places oh you’re he’s too dirty oh this is cleaned this up it’s like guys it’s like okay yeah even if you don’t like something you’re like
okay yeah it’s fine it’s fine i don’t i don’t care even though you do care about girls oh you piece of [ __ ] yeah they just uh
they just come out and their talons come out and they just [ __ ] go sucking for blood all right we have a top five anyways we’re already at 35. we do have
one i want to do a top five yeah we’re doing a top five okay [ __ ] it okay the top five today is top five
animated movies of all time now i personally love this list and i also
equally found it super challenging because there’s so many animated movies that i like um do you want me to start do you want to start
uh i think you started last time all right top five with it with an
honorable mention top five animated movies of all time now this is your personal list your favorites i had actually a really
hard time with this because i could probably make a top 15. but yeah and i had to condense it in top five but i think i have a pretty good top five i
had to pull an old one from the childhood for fun i have a lot of childhood ones old old
old do you remember chicken run yes yes yeah being made into the pies
you remember when the the the fat one didn’t make enough eggs yeah she got hatcheted and then her and then her
pizzas go yeah it doesn’t show her head obviously and then but then there was like the shadow of the axe yeah then
like the blood comes out i’m like dude dude yeah dude that movie would not last they’d be like fat shaming of course i
mean okay i’d i don’t know of course the fact that she was like claymation series kind of like wallace and gromit yeah yeah yeah
i don’t know dude i saw the face here was there was a scene wall
isn’t going he’s got like 85 teeth dude there was a scene in walls and grommet where this
dude eats a piece of toast in two bites he goes like yo
dude this dude dude’s got chompers what does that mouth do okay all right uh number four
oh my [ __ ] i actually didn’t want to say this movie because my mom and sister like it so much
don’t say frozen god no no i’ll say you hate frozens yeah ratatouille
oh yeah it’s it’s so my mom and sister were so obsessed with it that it kind of just
like gave me one of those gut wrenching like oh i hate it but i actually love that’s actually
higher on my list yeah but no okay that’s like one of my favorite movies you didn’t let me finish i’m saying that’s how it started and then you and i
watched it together probably twice in the last time i loved it and it was like the soundtrack the
animation oh god it’s good yeah it’s so good like
uh i don’t know and like i like a good come-up story you know he’s a rat [Laughter]
and like dude it’s okay honestly in my opinion it’s one of the best animated movies well it’s aesthetically pleasing
that but like i’m talking about just just the storyboard itself if you want to talk about a kid chasing his dreams
the fact that the rat was the michelin star restaurant i know no but here’s the thing the rat cooked
at a restaurant got it shut down and then opened another restaurant and it
was succeeding and not only was he serving human guests he was serving rat
guests on the top floor like a vip said exactly his dude was like salt bae yeah dude he [ __ ] got
like he not only fulfilled his dreams of serving food to humans
sanitarily but he also hooked up the homies upstairs hooked up the squad too like that’s just that’s an all-around
feel-good story i just i i want to hate it but i can’t how do you want to hit i love attitude no it’s just because my
mom and sister watched like 85 times a week okay number three i’m going with just
the biggest reason as a soundtrack number three is aladdin that’s a good choice i’m going with it
one uh not mustafar jafar mustafa housing uh dude fight me you snake yes snake
whole new world
no one to tell us no do you ever did you ever ever have sorry did you ever have like a animated
crush when you were a little kid mine was actually jasmine when i was a little kid um mine was the girl off of mass effect 2.
yeah i do remember that mine was also mine was also mine was also she go from kim possible and and kim even though she had that
weird lip mustache but you know yeah why’d they give her a stack it wasn’t a stash it was just like the dark color of her upper lip but there’s no bottom lip
so i’m like i don’t know what i’m looking at here but she’s still bad because animated crush like when i was a little
kid yeah when you were a little kid when i was a little kid i’m like dude she’s hot as [ __ ] yeah um
god there had i’m a horny pocahontas animated pocahontas i thought she was kind of bad a little mermaid
little mermaid not little mermaid but like the evil you know ursula changed into like a human woman for a little bit
in the movie like that that one yeah that one’s yeah yeah yeah who did i think was hot as a kid an
animated man i don’t know like i’m trying to think of the movies
uh dory from finding nemo no i’m kidding yeah dory had dude dory had cake okay anyways she had fins okay uh number two
i’m going with shrek now shrek was one of those and this is what i think about the movie shrek and
the series as a whole shrek i feel like people thought was gonna be a flop
i believe that i remember that as it’s a no no but no if you didn’t know this there’s actually like a
list of eight like a-list actors that was supposed to voice shrek but they all thought okay this is stupid i’m not doing this and then mike my but mike
myers are sort of i think mike myers was very solidified at voicing shrek but all these a-list actors were supposed to eddie murphy obviously is but i’m saying
there was a bunch and a bunch of them said no well because like i feel like from a glance the storyline
is just kind of like okay there’s an ugly dude and then he goes and saves a princess dude he’s a [ __ ] ogre
but then the girl ends up being green as well which was kind of a weird coincidence that she’s awesome
that made the story go together was perfect because that the whole thing whole thing she loved him but you couldn’t tell him that blah blah blah either way but either way but i’m saying
why did she was about to clap talk about the odds that like you’re an ugly green guy and oh the [ __ ] that’s in the
camera she also the guy thrown over at night the guy in the mirror tried to tell him and then the king didn’t listen to him yeah um felonious
not my gumdrop buttons well
he’s married to if you guys haven’t watched you guys you guys got to youtube the shrek karaoke dance oh my god it is so good
relax relax it’s not so good it’s really relaxing
[Music] uh number one is a newer one
okay i think i know what it is yep soul soul was very good i will honestly
say i’m not a big crier you’re emotional i i no i actually shed a tear at that
movie that that no i don’t okay i’m being serious i did yeah that’s
their [ __ ] okay [ __ ] you i’m just kidding it was a very sad movie it was because it was
like i just felt bad for like that’s all he wanted and then he got it and then he died and i was just like [ __ ] man yeah
very yeah and he had he had he had his shot and dude he had his shot and he didn’t miss
like he was playing i know he’s true those fingers were like [ __ ] tentacles just going across the keys
also alicia keys her last name isn’t keys well it’s a stage thing imagine if [ __ ] who’s the who’s the trumpeter
guy miles davis miles david he’s just like yeah my name’s miles trumpet now like she changed her name to alicia keys
[ __ ] something like that i don’t think little wayne’s name is little one you know what i’m saying same girls know you’re little babies i know but
after the instrument you’re playing that’s the point because that’s what you played [ __ ] alicia harmonica like get
the [ __ ] stupid mention uh honorable mention i’ll just come up with a one off the top of the dome uh
honorable mention for an animated film treasure planet isn’t it amazing it is so cool
it’s okay listen i it’s of course it’s on my list but treasure planet is one of the best animated movies of all time
anyways i’m gonna start mine now okay okay and i’m really excited for this list because here’s the thing there’s so many that didn’t make the cup cut and so
no and there’s so many classics there’s so many classics i didn’t put on here because of the fact that there’s just some because the story or certain things
i like more anyways server number five treasure planet treasure planet is a great movie the
story is so good and it’s actually and actually everything about it it’s captivating and
there’s action and i love the storyline i just i’ve always loved it the animation was really really well done
before the time it was done it was done so like oh it was done so early it was done so well treasure planet at number
five yes at number four and this might be damn well because the soundtrack as well but it’s also that’s
just a bonus the goofy movie the goofy movie is a banger it’s always
been one of my favorites [Music]
it’s a [ __ ] banger it’s the soundtrack’s amazing i love the goofy movie not the one
oh i’d capped the mic there sorry my ben sorry for your eardrum sorry my bad um so the goofy movie not the extremely
goofy movie even though the one he goes to college is really good the goofy movie okay coming at number three
mulan mulan is amazing soundtrack top tier and when the real life remake came
out and there was no mushu no soundtracks grab it throw it out never saw it i didn’t even watch it you’re not
getting a chance no you’re not getting a chance there was no soundtrack there’s no mushu get me out moosh is a little dragon with a girl was she hot in that i
don’t know i didn’t look because i’m not interested in butchering a classic i’m so tired of remakes that suck yeah i’m tired of it yeah and it
and i never even saw the lion king ring but it’s like hey that’s cool okay well beyonce’s voicing the lioness i don’t give a [ __ ]
i don’t care there’s a lion i know yes it’s a real live remake and beyonce is voicing the lioness real life like yes
jordan peels like i’m saying yes no it’s not animated no no it’s kind of okay it’s like cgi but i’m saying it’s not
like a cartoon but there’s real people but the lions are animated yeah yeah
beyonce isn’t on all fours running around no but i’m saying it’s like a voice like
you can look up a youtube scene about it but i’m saying there’s there is such thing as a classic just leave it alone
and let it be a classic okay just leave it alone move on number three now these top two i
had a really hard time because i love so many but number two i gotta go ratatouille
ratatouille is one of my favorite animated movies ever rat and patootie
rapa zooty it’s so good i mean it’s funny um it’s for everybody um it’s also aesthetically
pleasing the colors the cooking everything and the energy it’s just it’s so there’s also a little love story i
don’t know yeah and there’s so many there’s allegories it’s a story with another linguini you are cooking
and then yeah it’s just i like how they made the stuff yeah with the food critic and like even like the noises of him walking up the
steps to look up remember his office yeah it’s like a cop everything is so well done in that movie
and it’s amazing so ratatouille number two number one this there was a lot of discrepancies in my
brain about this it’s it’s toy story the first toy story really i love that’s what i grew up on being one of my
favorite movies is toy story um and i actually have two honorable mentions because i couldn’t decide yeah first i
will mention is recess if you never watch the recess movie oh tj detweiler vince spinelli mikey gus the gang
one of the og crews and if you were a young kid and you watched that movie it it it was just it hit different it was
so good and one that you probably forgot about and a lot of people don’t even remember osmosis jones
i’ve never seen that or maybe i forgot it you never saw it remember they’re in bill murray
they’re it’s like an animated movie with also like some not animated because like they’re inside bill murray’s body and the story is like the little germs and
[ __ ] inside bill murray’s body you never watch that oh my god sounds like a rick and morty
i mean no but i’m saying i don’t know the pirates of the pancreas and [ __ ] well yeah they’re literally it’s like they’re in his body oh okay and osmosis
jones has got to be up there too i don’t think that yeah you never watch that one okay but never mind but that is my list nice that’s that’s that’s gonna be it
and i think we’re well we’re at 45. yeah we’re at 45. well since we’re swapping here uh
wait what do you do what do i do well for the outro uh thank you guys for listening uh we
appreciate everyone checking us out uh we have not [ __ ] done [ __ ] with the summer merch but we’re going to get right on that um uh z you want to talk
about the patreon uh patreon atlt.com wait what is it i [ __ ] up my bad
yeah um so make sure you guys go do that you will get patreon exclusive episodes from here on out
i’m excited oh i thought you said oh i’d like to let me go no you will get exclusive episodes now those who don’t know um
we did just release a patreon exclusive episode for the first time and it’s good and it’s only available to those who are subscribed to the patreon and next week
will be the same thing so not only will you get an episode early like the original one everyone gets you’ll get that early and you will also get a
patreon exclusive episode so that is something to look out for and if you’re not subscribed subscribe now for that
and also if you are a patreon and you send us a picture of you being subscribed to the patreon you get to
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our discord and you can chat with us live video chat whatever the [ __ ] you want just don’t show us your dicks
or toes yeah yeah or maybe we’ll we’ll talk about it um but yeah uh
z oh wait uh you you can find me at jack under or you can find whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
okay uh you can find us on instagram at around the lunch table tick tock again i’m [ __ ] saying it at around the
lunch table uh you can find me at jack underscore spence z where huh
where can they find you they can find me at isaiah underscore lesley on instagram or you can find both of our instagrams at the around the
launch table instagram page well thank you guys for listening and if you haven’t checked out the summer collection it is out now and actually we
probably will be some doing some type of drawing um for patrons those who are subscribed you will get a free full set
of summer collection we’re going to decide when that’s going to happen probably toward the end of the summer or something like that we’re going to get
estimates yeah we’ll get something but anyways guys thanks for listening and stay tuned if you’re a patron for the patreon exclusive episodes coming
probably at the end of this weekend and then the normal weekend of course or the normal week next week so anyways guys thanks for listening we’ll see you next
week [Music]
let’s get rowdy up in here

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Episode 78