#57 The Return of Trevor

Episode 57

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J & Z have a very special guest. Trevor. we talk about his story in Vegas, Mexico, the Cosby sweaters, and much more.
this is around the lung table episode oh
we’re definitely in the 50s it’s 50
something we’ve talked about
so um
first and foremost i want to thank our
sponsor aperture oceans bringing ideas
and ads
to life to life i also want to bring up
um before we introduce our very very
special guest
i do want to bring up uh patreon
patreon.com on the lunch table check
that out you can get uh episodes
early-ish and uh also access to atlt
radio uh exclusive content and all that
jazz picks and butthole picks yes if you
are the top subscriber you get feed
picks from me and
everyone knows i got the sexiest feed uh
z would you like to introduce our very
special guest who really needs no
introduction he’s been on the podcast
before you all know and love him z who
are we hanging out you know what we have
here is a real around the lunch table
alumni and he has been around since the
beginning and he’s had some really great
times with us on the show
ladies and gentlemen without further ado
we give you the infamous trevor
trevor how you doing today man you guys
are making me blush
that’s all we want to do oh god i had a
fantastic day that’s good
did you do anything fun no just brushed
my teeth um
i pooped this morning unemployed
basically i don’t i don’t do a whole lot
from home yeah i get that if i had to
work from home dude nothing i wouldn’t
get yeah i feel like the per the people
who like work from home that only is
productive for maybe the first week yeah
maybe that’s if you’re disciplined
that’s it for discipline you know people
are like meal prepping and they would
because then like that would mean i’m on
my computer i could not resist it’s like
okay valerian i could play a game i
could just chill exactly if my [ __ ] i
would have to have two separate
computers because if i had like gaming
shits on the same one oh it absolutely
is in fact my work even gave me a laptop
and they’re like you need to take this
home you can’t be working on your
i’ve never took it home because don’t
work places have this thing where they
can they can see that you’re on it and
working but what what’s stopping you
from opening it and then not doing
anything and just doing over the phone
oh i do that all the time yeah exactly
there’s nothing that doesn’t seem
productive at all that’s good i i i do
work you know when [ __ ] needs to get
done i do the bare minute was say i work
like 20 hour weeks
and i get paid for 40.
there was a study that went out i was
like the average employee is only
productive about four and a half hours
of the whole day well that’s why in like
uh europe right they only they have four
day weekends now yeah they have four
days like monday thursday or something
it’s monday the 30th yeah because
apparently people they got more done in
four days knowing they had three days
off than they did yeah well i would
agree with that that’s not my such i
just take the time off as the week goes
that works uh z i heard uh you know we
didn’t really chat about it but
apparently you had an interesting thing
oh i do have i do have it oh he’s got a
juicy story i have a good story and i’m
so glad that this happened to me because
i could share it here and it’s so
[ __ ] funny i love it and the odds of
him listening to this are very slim so
i’m just gonna go and say it um
so at my work there’s this guy i’m not
going to say names
so he’s like
almost 40 i think he’s like yeah he’s
about 40. maybe around there anyways
so he
comes up to me and just assumes i which
i know how to do it but he’s like hey i
can’t walk because he’s got a new iphone
i’ve gone through this i’ve gone through
this like [ __ ] four times me and jack
have done like four [ __ ] times
because you’re a gen z or you just know
[ __ ] about everything yeah exactly i
think that was the whole thing but
anyway so he comes with me he’s like hey
can you help me set up my um
apple id with this phone because i think
i’m logged in but i forgot my password
i’m like okay like long story short he
didn’t know his password over my k and
he didn’t have access to the email i’m
okay i’m like long story short like
you’re gonna have to just make a new
apple id i’m like honestly just put it
on your phone i’m like there’s unless
you have icloud should you want to you
want to save you just need to make a new
one he’s like no i don’t um oh my god
he’s making a new one he’s like how do i
do that i’m like
and so i’m and i had just taken lunch
and i’m like oh my [ __ ] god okay so i
[ __ ] pull up and like so i go on his
phone and i always i always do this if
it’s someone i don’t know or something
like that or even anybody if it’s their
phone like i tell them what i’m doing
just to give them the courtesy of i’m
not trying to stumble on anything it’s
like i’m like hey i’m gonna go on safari
and look up apple and then i’m gonna
sign one up for you and he was like oh
okay i’m like so i’m going on safari
giving him a chance if something’s there
like oh no
you know what i mean no you know what i
mean though i’m saying it’s a courtesy
thing it’s like i’m being transparent
like if there’s something
i always do that like if i’m holding
someone something hey i go on safari
really quick
so they know you’re gonna okay there was
nothing that well let me finish
so i’m not kidding you so you don’t want
your phone on safari this uh this guy
he’s obviously technically [ __ ]
and that’s okay there’s nothing wrong
with it and uh
i’m not disparaging the mentally
disabled i’m saying this guy’s literally
technologically [ __ ] yeah yeah and
so basically
i go on you know how you go on safari
you click the search bar your last like
10 searches
will show
yeah and that’s why i asked him okay i’m
gonna go on safari i’m gonna go
i’m gonna type in apple
to make a new account and and so i asked
him like two times just because i don’t
know this guy that well i’m like i’m
giving him a chance pick oh let me
i’m like obviously he doesn’t have a
second browser so duckduckgo so i click
search and the first [ __ ] thing
underneath it says granny with glasses
gets [ __ ]
that’s what it says and so i see it i’m
like oh granny with glasses with glasses
gets [ __ ] and then next one granny
[ __ ] i’m like dude the guy likes
wait i mean it’s like 40. i believe in
porn they call him mature
and it was so [ __ ] terrible because
like i saw like
just pretend like you didn’t see it
and instantly because i was like you
know i’m gonna go eat my lunch she’s
like oh please please please i’m like oh
and so i just did it for him but yeah so
i saw that
and wow yeah that was that’s basically
my story does he know that you saw it no
he doesn’t know because i had the phone
he’s sitting across from me but the
funny thing is he’s sitting there having
a conversation with me as i’m doing it
and i see it i’m just like i feel like
he’s not old enough for granny porn he’s
he’s older though am i pulling something
it was just very off-putting but
hilarious well i frequently do that to
myself where i will open i will open up
safari and be like what was i looking at
that’s possible it wasn’t it wasn’t it
wasn’t granny porn yeah that’s still
pretty absurd right why i actually i do
have a story along those lines there was
a when you use your uh like if you go on
a trip you use your company card you
know to buy gas things like that you
have to turn in the receipts right
so at the end of it so we had this brand
new office manager that you turn in the
receipts to
and so
we had this driver and he just you know
he pulls out all his receipts and just
turns them in
and so
one of them inappropriate stuff on the
receipt one of them was a dvd from an
adult shop titled ask ploytations3
why does he just google something i well
he’s like old he’s old school he’s old
school yeah so you know he’s got the vhs
tape the vhs rewinder the vhs cleaner
all on the card
why but you know it’s a company card no
it was personal but he kept the receipt
and turned it in and he’s just like and
i remember like he’s just like hey this
is not on the company card it’s a [ __ ]
yeah might as well let him keep it to
receive at that point everyone [ __ ]
knows what a boner garage i think like
what what is something if you were on a
buddy’s phone that he searched that like
it’s so bad you wouldn’t be friends with
him again i don’t uh i don’t think it
would be anything unless it was like
[ __ ] pedophilia yeah yeah yeah
other than that it’s not a big deal i
mean if someone was like i don’t think
bukkake’s that bad but i think it’s
terrible i look at them a little
different like i’m like hey listen this
poor girl this is not a situation that
i i feel more i feel more just unsettled
yeah if i if i see something like that
do you not you said
cocky and like dude hell yeah
why can you please [ __ ] is just like
a gang bang well no there’s ten dudes
and there’s just it’s like a girl if
like it’s just it’s the girls the jewel
pod the miller lights are the men and
they’re just sitting right now yeah yeah
they all got they all got beer bellies
and like ponytails no not really my
forte this little figurine horse night
is the woman
as much as i see i love seeing other
hairy dick and balls
involved with me
i’m not that i’m not that horny but
despite me still is hitting prostitution
once before it was an accident
or allegedly just sort of it’s it’s all
a legend you didn’t know what was going
horny enough to be like yeah me well
they did say this girl wants all credit
cards so they no no they don’t accept oh
they’re all off the books baby yeah yeah
yeah no it’s like we accept diners club
it’s like marijuana in washington they
can’t have they can’t have yeah
so trevor you recently uh you went on a
trip or something right no yes
where did you go i went to las vegas
nevada america’s playground i love it
although i did not so
me and my buddies stayed in fremont like
old town which they think street that’s
yeah on the street a whole new thing up
above or you can like zip line and
people should poop on you that’s pretty
[ __ ] on the sidewalk i mean it’s vegas i
mean some people are into that and i
went through i went with two of my
friends who bring out the worst in me
which was uh nick and eddie eddie yeah
yeah eddie
anyone named eddie just sounds [ __ ]
yeah just do crazy [ __ ] eddie’s just
filthy eddie has no remorse
he has no conscience
it’s not that bad
like so we
flew in thursday morning and we flew out
saturday night because sunday flights
were like triple the cost so we’re like
[ __ ] yeah we’re just two yeah [ __ ] it
so we had the 10 p.m flight on saturday
10 years that gives you all of saturday
to just get drunk as [ __ ] right yeah of
course and that was every day anyways
that’s what people go there for anyways
yeah and um we get to the airport
there’s not a [ __ ] person there like
even the staff’s not there like i don’t
know what’s going on we’re trying we
like we go through security and there’s
no one
security was there that was or you know
like one tsa agent yeah it was it was it
he’s the one who checks you in scans
your bags and he’s the pilot
yeah he runs back
oh they’re like we’re in vegas and
there’s no one shampoo
and um shampoo conditioner motor oil
wd-40 go ahead naturally we’re at the
a little too early for the flight yeah
we’re waiting by the gate and the bar
isn’t open yet for cl it’s closed
already and so
what’s in the airport i thought airports
don’t run on clocks we we ended up
finding a bar it’s closed
well no you know how like you don’t they
don’t charge sales taxes you go to an
airport bar at midnight because i know
some i’m saying there’s a lot of them
that close no i’m saying it’s like an
international place they don’t charge
sales tax there and also like you can
drink at
four they might as well charge sales tax
for the price of a [ __ ] coffee yeah
but so there’s two other people sitting
next to the same flight we have so
there’s five people total
and me and my buddy nick are drunk [ __ ]
and we start to just [ __ ] like he’s got
the luggage with the the the wheels on
the bottom
and so we
you guys bring an extra base for
souvenirs and so
he’s uh we were bored and drunk and so
we pretended to be a shuffled like a
shuffleboard tee or like a what’s that
people [ __ ] shave the eyes curling
curling yeah curling that’s what it was
and so he i was like all right nick i’ll
curl the the luggage and you throw it as
far as you can down the frickin like the
the way where there’s like all the gates
and so he he tosses it and i’m
pretending to [ __ ] girl
if we do that a couple times and we’re
just like we’re like trying to see you
could throw the [ __ ] the luggage of
the farthest and then the two people
that were sitting
next to us by our flight
one of which decided to come up to us
was like i actually was a curling coach
in college
how do you even find one of those and
she’s like your form is awful i was like
we’re not [ __ ] curling
like where does this staircase yeah your
farm is [ __ ] awful you’re too old to
have braces we’re all making
so she joins in and is like giving us
pointers and then like she ends up
finding another bar like at another gate
so we go down there we get more drunk so
you went with her yeah it was a woman
she was our new curling coach yeah he
said she’s
she was our new curling coach and she
was giving us really good pointers about
[ __ ] we did not care about yeah we were
just like that’s fan that’s amazing i
didn’t even know there were curl coaches
but all right i didn’t know it was an
actual feeling and so we
finished drinking we’re about to board
our flight and there’s [ __ ] five of
the the flight attendant looks at us
that he’s just like hey we need to pull
you guys aside and i was like looking
around i was like really like
there’s five of us here we need to pull
you aside it’s like really i’m white
they pulled four of them they pulled
four of us aside the husband did not
partake in curling and so he boarded the
the other four [ __ ] passengers on the
goddamn flight were pulled aside and
they’re like we noticed you guys were
being extremely loud
we’re like probably because there’s no
one here and then they’re like yeah we
also noticed you guys were
drinking at the bar
we can’t let you fly if you’re
inebriated and i just looked at him was
like so you’re like what he’s like he’s
like what do you mean it’s vegas
everyone’s fine i know that’s about
something yeah what the [ __ ] um
our friend eddie
did not have a dream why is there a bar
right there if you don’t want some knee
breathe you [ __ ] yeah and so our friend
eddie set me up for failure did was not
actually drinking so he was like listen
i’m not like
don’t even put me in the same [ __ ]
category right now you ditched you guys
no i i i stood up for i was like look if
you’re gonna let anyone fly please let
this poor curling coach go home in eddie
because they weren’t doing anything
wrong me and nick were the ones being
stupid but then we also voiced our
opinion that it was like
this is so ridiculous why and they’re
like we’re we already pushed your flight
back to 6 a.m
and i literally said i was like guess
where i’m going i’m going back to the
strip and i’m gonna get more [ __ ]
drunk and i will see you at six
yeah it’s we we didn’t we ended up
missing our flight like we did i didn’t
get to fly home did the curling coach
miss it too no that the other three
passengers were able to board me and
nick had to go back to fremont you’re a
good guy man yeah that’s a good move
that’s good well they they had to take
someone prisoner wait so hold on so the
husband just left the wife no he came
okay i left this part out he actually
came back out after he be interrogated
and started like well we [ __ ] her in
the breastfeeding
he was yelling at her he’s like what the
[ __ ] like he was like angry angry he was
like what the [ __ ] you doing like are
you kidding me you’re gonna not let us
[ __ ] fly home and that’s when i was
just like okay okay
look me and nick were curling
the other shoes were spectating why am i
getting a blank what the [ __ ] is curling
i don’t understand it’s
it’s like a winter in fact if you want
we should watch the winter that looks
like the little that what you’re doing
does not help me it looks like the
little things they want to go ice they
literally like yeah they shave it they
have this like rock and it goes it’s the
same as shuffleboard but on i you throw
like a disc and you gotta make it like
there’s certain point levels and yeah
you throw it too hard it’ll
[ __ ] it’s it’s it’s like a shuffleboard
but what i’m saying i’m not actually
kidding on the last atlt radio i talked
about it and i looked up
who like how much they make a year
apparently it’s like 30 to 50 grand
that’s not bad as olympians though and
so the entire travel costs of the
olympics and the training and [ __ ]
doesn’t cover it and they all have like
normal jobs
and they’re olympic they’re olympians
yeah i mean okay it’s economics
olympian and
curling they’re athletes it’s it’s like
when uh
gamers put professional athletes in
their twitter boxes if you told that to
a hot woman and you’re like i’m an
olympic curler and she’d be like i like
you less now
why wouldn’t they just say just make up
a like you are an olympian so yeah like
this gold medal yeah like yeah i had a
dragon field yeah i threw a javelin um
another thing so guys what we have
coming up we have valentine’s day coming
up uh trevor do you have any plans
is that a smile like hell no
i shouldn’t say this on her yeah you’re
giving us two different faces no i don’t
like women uh next question
are you nine
non-binary oh no i i like women um i
don’t have any po no i do i have a
girlfriend thanks for reminding me mom
no i was saying like maybe you know
you’re seeing an old fling or something
it’s valentine’s day it’s valentine’s
day you know it’s when the girls forget
that guys are [ __ ] remember i i i gotta
work men are [ __ ] except for on
valentine’s day yeah we’re all those
people i don’t know i got a girl’s phone
number last saturday
it’s a little early for valentine’s day
plans with someone well no i don’t say
you know you don’t take her on a date
but you know [ __ ] just remind her
you know daddy’s here
and he’s got a dozen roses what do you
what do you have
you guys both live with women yeah well
we’re going to uh restaurant tacoma yeah
is it a foursome oh el gaucho that’s
going to be exciting
oh i know
a foursome has been talked about that’s
why credit cards exist
i’m just joking i’m joking no because he
invited us and then i made sure i was
like hey we don’t want to intrude and
then he’s like yeah let’s go so actually
have an el gaucho thing of seasoning for
steak at home
it’s amazing
it’s great dude
hey wait the wait hey
in the back no oh my god you’re a
sneaker shopping check for nine and a
half’s in the back i used to i used to
talk to a girl that um i went to wazoo
with she was uh
goku she was a hostess there in
whatever she was a horse’s cupcake
and then um my aunt makes gluten-free
cakes for a living and she made some for
el gaucho and they like as a reward the
whole family got seasoning from the
the coffins of the chef we don’t know
what this is but no it’s it’s like they
sell they sell it you could like buy it
online they have like this whole steak
package they’re from and it’s expensive
as hell yeah it’s probably 50 bucks for
per plastic i took that seasoning i was
like how i take yeah i’ll take free what
did you do to earn the seasoning
i was just present
dude inflation is real they’re not
paying in cash they’re paying in
i didn’t do the work
she probably got paid yeah i get paid
two tablespoons per hour
it’s good stuff
i mean like either way it’s like really
wet your whistle i mean yeah but i mean
i know this your seasonings are good
it’s pretty good right right yeah i’ve
said that can you sell me a gram
dude can i get an a can i get an eight
ball of those yeah it’s like it’s it’s
it’s half empty so probably not you
probably got like we got probably got
like another two and a half g’s another
year worth of season
maybe dude can i get a line of velgacho
restaurants [ __ ] good yeah it’s kind
of like a speakeasy you kind of feel
like you’re in good fellas a little bit
yeah you feel like you’re about to yeah
for no [ __ ] reason raise the point it
was [ __ ] they escort women to the
bathroom but they won’t escort men no
yeah women
yeah yeah escort me to the bathroom no
but they have a guy that has the napkins
and [ __ ]
no one walks into the bathroom they’re
just like pointed they’re like it’s over
there [ __ ] weirdo jesus like i’m not
walking you over there you know i went
into my girlfriend um
what’s that nightclub in seattle uh club
queue yeah okay so like i went and they
have like guys sometimes that are
holding towels and they have like clones
yeah and they have clones and [ __ ] i’m
like dude we are all [ __ ] black i
don’t give a [ __ ] just give me my
[ __ ] napkin
um he’s has a little tip thing like dude
i just want to grab this myself and i
still tipped him because you think i
brought cash i’m paying with a card like
do you think
you know it’s just dude the thing is
they’ve gotten sneaky
and they’re all like hey i’m like oh
sorry i don’t have any cash because
that’s like a good excuse also i never
carry cash and they’re like well i have
a cash app i’m like [ __ ] well this guy
i’m saying like at the club i’m saying
i’m in the bathroom it’s drunk it’s like
[ __ ] 1am and i’m like dude i’m like
trying to grab he’s like oh yeah he’s
asking those questions dude i’m just i’m
here to piss and grab a napkin wash my
hands i can grab my own [ __ ] people i
can grab my own napkin it’s like they’re
in vegas
it’s like the dudes at jiffy loop trying
to sell you an air filter get the [ __ ]
out of my face i had a similar thing my
favorite part about cancun was some some
poor bastard was walking around with
like wet towels and champagne and he
would just like i was like are you
and they give you they give you a wet
towel and you’re i just are you poked up
my balls are pretty moist and i’d wipe
it and he would just take the towel and
i was like i love that guy where like
why isn’t that everywhere
yeah i we actually just kissed my feet
douchebag i didn’t ask for the towel he
[ __ ] no i know i know but he expected
well he got
me pissing all over the toilet seat and
whatever else there’s probably a lot
more piss on that he’s got like a little
pocket-sized clorox wipe
he wipes it off for you smack you in the
ass one cheater two shooters um the uh
me and aaron just went to mexico and uh
it was our first time not going like a
resort we just like stayed with family
and then we got to go you stayed with
family in mexico yes you have family in
mexico uh yes my uh cousin is a airline
pilot for alaska airlines
and so he just uh they bought a place in
mexico on the beach and then he just
flies so he’ll like fly to la from cabo
cause like two hours he’ll work for a
couple days and go back so it’s kind of
what a [ __ ] oh yeah he’s a [ __ ] but uh
we uh no we stayed there but dude the
amount of people it was every i want to
say minute someone walked up they’d like
be offering you like assorted towels or
like a frog made out of freaking lemons
and hats and glasses and then you’re
like no they’re like oh you want a
little coke a little weed little oh it
escalates i’m like fast like you’re 14
dude like holy [ __ ] no like dude you’re
12. how much you got
the this is good or not yeah we had the
same issue in puerto vallarta dude it’s
the guy was like could try to sell the
hats and whatever and then it was like
weed and we’re like no we’re we don’t
like the weed is like brown they start
you off soft yeah
we want a bracelet you want some coke we
told him we don’t do drugs and instead
of hearing we don’t do drugs he goes
right after we say we don’t want weed we
don’t do drugs he goes uh you want some
math man and i was like that we never
jumped from marijuana to meth
and like there’s he jumped from being
grounded to jail time
yeah in
yeah you know what yeah we do want meth
[ __ ] marijuana give it give it give it
all we want it jesus and that guy would
not leave us alone the entire time no
the problem was i made the mistake of
like i just felt bad for this guy so i
was like uh i was i was like ah maybe
tomorrow the dude found me on the beat a
way like not where i was before he’s
like hey i’m like hey like i don’t know
he’s like i haven’t slept in five days
he’s using the product yeah i mean you
know what the ultimate hustlers though i
no i i i’m just trying to sit there on
the beach and drink like enjoy my drink
they’re pushing cars just after one
after another
yeah that’s like their whole that’s like
their whole thing though they target
of course
gringo yeah
does somebody call us gringos
yeah yeah uh
when i was called spring break i did buy
drugs from those guys um was it good
average i i don’t know
why would you sell tourists good [ __ ]
anyways you know yeah no
what are you gonna do i don’t know who
the managers let’s just say do you do
you ever know what let me give you a
card hey there’s a there’s a customer
hotline if you have a problem with it
you can call and they’ll get your new
bag do you ever know like hey taco over
there it’s got your new bag if it sucks
so we we bought
nice um
you never know what the hell is in there
it just has to be white right yeah
exactly um
of course i made my friend eddie he was
blacked out anyways so i was like eddie
if we’re going to buy this you have to
try it first in case that’s fat nolan i
can see you
he was so [ __ ] up he was just like huh
and then the guy
right the guy just the guy stuck what is
this i’ll take it i’ll let you know in
20 minutes dealer stuck his key in there
and gave eddie a bump and i just looked
at him and he just like shook his head
yes and i was like i guess that means
we’re in i yeah he hasn’t he hasn’t
stroked eddie didn’t die so uh yeah
we’ll buy it and um that was i did so
that’s why they keep
white people they might say hacking i’m
like what where is this going yeah you
never know drug dealers are now hackers
yeah well isn’t like uh they always say
like putin
[ __ ]
[ __ ]
i don’t know
russia’s always like they got into bank
of america you know they didn’t come
from putin i don’t support putin
louisiana state
tigers big eaters
i paid
i paid i paid i’m sitting here wondering
why the [ __ ] russia would want to invade
ukraine there’s nothing there besides
the [ __ ] they [ __ ] blew up dude well
it’s because they see ukraine as like
it’s it’s a part of russia
they literally had and we said nuclear
meltdown biggest country in the world
nuclear meltdown happened in ukraine
yes why the [ __ ] would you like you know
what they’re actually content no that
doesn’t contaminate the whole country
well there’s like deers with two heads
and [ __ ] that’s that’s just not true if
you put one in there that is not true if
not contaminate those animals are
actually fine animals live there i
played a lot of fallout i don’t know
ukraine is the last place that i would
be like i want it dude i saw this on
instagram today it said the most
attractive women are from turkey didn’t
know that well that makes sense
they got good weather um you know good
weather what kind of weather does god
have hey i’m gonna add that on my
weather app turkey what do you know
about the turkey ecosystem hey guys
well it’s only uh two clicks past the
equator i know like what do you what is
the climate buy the mediterranean in
everything it is by the mediterranean
yeah it’ll be possible it’s gorgeous
greece is gorgeous morocco is gorgeous
southern france is gorgeous turkey’s
just a heads up you said turkey last by
the way yeah um also apparently
luxembourg has the most money per capita
they do it’s the richest country
luxembourg i thought that was like a
city because everyone does everything
for them it’s very small it’s very small
they’ve never paid for a military in
their entire existence how do you know
uh i minored in history
also go cougs they don’t have the they
i don’t know if you ever noticed but in
world war ii they were never mentioned
because they got [ __ ] walked over
they’re like [ __ ] [ __ ] you’re like
well you have a 20 000 chandelier but we
have aks
dude imagine the looting in world war ii
if you were like a [ __ ] american
soldier the [ __ ] you could [ __ ] take
like you know it’s actually um against
the demon convention now you can’t
there’s no spoil because everyone
follows the geneva
there’s no spoils of war anymore i guess
where we go now there’s not any
valuables so
i was gonna mention two things about
your reference to the turkish women
being the most attractive one where did
you find out who voted on that because
it sounds like a two thousand person
survey where they just
that doesn’t represent that someone got
on their email account and also galaga
yes she’s from israel okay that is right
dude so natalie portman and the gal
woman wonder woman gal gadot attractive
women jewish i i argue gal gadot is the
hottest woman on the planet really do
you it’s not it’s not it’s not good
just oh i don’t know what it was good i
i don’t know i’m assuming it’s wait a
dot you uh good dot okay i should have a
[ __ ] silent letters dude what the [ __ ]
the point of that well there was usually
accent marks to let you know what what
what’s what but but see i would assume
gal gadot would be french because they
do that [ __ ] all the time i mean i know
we have silent letters but the way they
french actually spell it out that way
like bordeaux
well apparently english is actually one
of the hardest to learn about everything
apparently yeah i know not like
chinese was no i’m saying english is up
there with china some of the hardest
things because we have like 18 words i’m
sure i’m
yeah that’s what i’m saying that’s why
it’s like all the synonyms and [ __ ] i’m
saying chinese i’m sure is hard but i’m
saying like
apparently like learning english is very
i mean like the usage of these i mean i
learned english just fine yeah no
[ __ ] idiots
and uh the english happened to make the
rest of the [ __ ] world learn it too
and they’re like learn the hardest
language [ __ ] you yeah suck it i like it
capitalism right there um isn’t it weird
that um
the bill cosby sweaters are in the
are they still there i i feel like
they’re removed i think that’s worth the
google before i continue is there gonna
check me i’m fact check out facts i
think there is two words they were using
they were in they were the bill cosby
spreaders and the elephant man’s bones
the elephant’s man’s pants come look at
this guy’s twisted skeleton like it’s
kind of [ __ ] up
yeah he’s all twisted up let’s just put
him on a [ __ ] hat rack music how do
how do museums exist are they like
government for yeah they’re
government-funded yeah okay they’re just
like we need you no one goes to them but
i feel like i feel like depending on
what it is cause like the uh seattle art
museum i’ve been there like that’s cool
it’s like a date you get to look and
[ __ ] and act like you know what it means
it’s like they were in the new york
museum dedicated the preservation of
artifacts related to film preservation
of artifacts but i’m saying they’ve been
they’ve been removed yes they’ve been he
raped 55 girls in these sweaters like
that’s [ __ ] dude i mean he has those
iconic sweaters though and all the
pictures he has dude
dude isn’t he talking about going back
on tour yeah first of all he’s
in the flowers
no one’s gonna see [ __ ] bill cosby
is he delusional can you imagine us
being like hey of all
actually first of all
bill cosby
i don’t know if has but even okay even
now i’m saying he has so much [ __ ]
money he’s worth like 800 million yeah
it’s it’s way up there because i watched
this thing i was uh reading this thing
about it so like
in films and i was randomly googling
bill cosby that night no i’m saying i
was like i went to a rabbit hole we’ve
all done rabbit holes of course think
before you speak and so basically what
happens is i’m reading this thing and so
he like owned like this film company
thing and he made a [ __ ] ton of money
isn’t that funny he made this
and so he he would get he would get paid
first of all for the rights of all his
shows he made millions and he would get
paid being the director and the creator
he would get paid for different titles
all those persons salaries
and so he’d get [ __ ] all this money
he’s and he’d rape them yeah yeah i
guess so yeah just a wee bit of a break
i love how the rabbit hole ended up at
bill cosby and
well i just thought it was interesting
yeah i mean there’s a documentary that i
think just came out on everyone
basically talking [ __ ] about him well
yeah obviously
well i just love i just love those
documentaries for [ __ ] anything
nowadays yeah like the [ __ ] jeffrey
epstein ones those were that okay that’s
it was unsettling but kind of like oh it
was fascinating i can’t believe the
[ __ ] got out of it i i mean i no i’m
sorry i can’t believe she didn’t get out
of it i thought she’d have so much money
that she actually got tried and is going
to prison
she should have left she’s going to get
killed like he did
yeah somehow the cameras turned but i’m
saying i’m saying
in itself i’m saying the documentary is
definitely disgusting but i’m saying on
the same token it’s very like crazy all
the [ __ ] dude he gets he gets it all
dropped i’m saying because he’s so rich
he had influenced the what is it um
not the head prosecutor but he was like
a guy in like a senator or some [ __ ] of
the yeah i don’t know the uh the worst
documentary i ever watched was the
michael jackson okay i started it but i
didn’t i started like maybe three
minutes when i was by myself
it was so graphic
because they actually had two of the
boys oh they’re telling their truth it
has to be graphic yeah and so they were
just like yeah and that’s when he would
like want me to suck his nipples and
touch his penis and [ __ ] he’s like no
they you know
you know i’m joking about it south park
as it was coming out i realized that was
insensitive yeah so yeah but it’s kind
of funny if you’re listening to around
lunchtime i mean
like uh
murder documentaries are like the most
popular thing in the [ __ ] if michael
jackson comes through your window if
michael jackson was alive today and came
through your window like hopped into bed
with you what would you do i’m not a
little boy i’d whoop his ass no i would
honestly let him it’s michael jackson
it’s king of pop man you would let
it’s like a pop imagine telling that
story i i was scary-looking yeah he is
he is but he turned white he was also
like 100 he was like 135 pounds so
basically i would do it like hey let me
see i want to see the moonwalk live i’d
like if you do that i’ll if you do that
i’ll [ __ ] you and then he’ll do it and
then i’ll talk to you and then i’ll beat
his ass and then after i’m refined i
just want to see him dance i think and
then after i beat him up dance for me i
have like a gun [ __ ] in the ground dance
shine your shoes do a little dance no
let’s be clear i wouldn’t let him [ __ ]
me i’d be his ass but i would i would
pretend that i’m gonna let him so then
he’d dance for me
that’s okay let’s be honest it’s a king
of pop this isn’t some guy down by the
7-eleven i think he’d dance for you
after he got [ __ ] i think i would [ __ ]
you he would not he he weighed like 135
pounds i would beat the [ __ ] out of him
i’m just i don’t know the thing is i
feel like everyone just forgot that he
turned himself white like why does no
one talk about that like that’s weird i
don’t know if this confirms don’t be
weird don’t fact check me
apparently he he has a skin condition
in which it didn’t look like it when he
was black i’m just saying his nose fell
off no he had a lot of plastic surgeries
but i’m saying apparently when it comes
to the pigmentation of his skin it was
actually a skin disorder he had that’s
what he told people
hey i don’t know i don’t know i don’t
i’ve never seen anyone else in the world
who was like i’m black and i want to
turn one but who the [ __ ] do you know
anybody’s who they do who had
that early on in the 2000s is that even
possible that you could change the
pigmentation of your skin
um that’s what i thought it was some
[ __ ] i’m saying could you back then
because you did in the early 2000s
dirty rich
i mean i guess you’ve got all the money
in the world dude you’re like i want to
be white isn’t it weird how easy he died
of aids within a few months
that that’s not funny
within a few months but magic johnson’s
prancing around and played an all-star
game with eights isn’t that interesting
you ever thought of that well i thought
uh i think there’s there’s a couple i
thought suge knight like
even though he injected him with aids
yeah that is the that is the whole thing
either way i’m saying he died so quickly
in comparison there’s people out there
like matt johnson who’s just alive and
free i’m convinced he’s i think he was
just he’s rich enough to probably got it
i think he’s more aware of his situation
and also probably regularly saw a doctor
easy probably never saw a doctor and was
just like had full-blown aid talking
about he had hiv if you have so magic
got hiv and knew about it and then you
can like not treat it but you can you i
can’t minimize the symptoms i guess that
makes sense but we’re talking about a
god there’s there’s interviews about
johnson when he’s younger talking about
[ __ ] like four women in a elevator
you think easy [ __ ] the most girls in
history magic johnson’s up there he’s up
there he’s up there he’s known for being
a [ __ ] stick
magic johnson yeah you’re given that
name you have to do it he should be in
the face of the condom he didn’t ask for
those powers it just well he’s up there
with hugh hefner right i believe
cause hugh hefner was like thousands or
whatever i mean hugh hefner lived a long
[ __ ] line he did he did good for him
but apparently the playboy mansion is
[ __ ] just disgusting and old what do
you expect when you go in there it’s a
porn mansion but they’ve girls get paid
they got allowances apparently but
i think an allowance to get [ __ ] they
took the allowance but then like yeah it
was disgusting but i took it but i took
the allowance i took the money the new
hugh hefner’s dan bilzerian
isn’t he like
crazy and dead or some [ __ ] there’s a
lot of them
well the cool thing is is ignite his
it’s it’s it’s public so you can look at
transcripts you can look at all the
business dealings and [ __ ] and they’re
not profitable i don’t know how the [ __ ]
they’re standing they’re laundering
money you wanna know the interesting
thing i’ve watched so many [ __ ]
videos about that and one of the
interesting things is so his dad back in
like the 80s or the 70s or 80s got
he did jail time and [ __ ] for defrauding
investors of millions and millions of
dollars basically if that happens to you
you are not allowed to run a company
you’re not allowed to be involved with
the company but
all the employees of ignite or
ex-employees blah blah blah said that
his dad was like running the meetings
doing this and that in the third which
is illegal
because if you’ve defrauded a company
it’s illegal it’s illegal but if you’ve
defrauded a company did all that [ __ ]
it’s illegal for you to run a company or
be in charge of finances in any way well
what i do know is that guy is still
posting videos so i don’t know if he’s
actually finding a giant mansion with a
bunch of women remember did you ever see
that um did you ever see that youtube
video of dan bilzerian
um it’s on architectural digest and
for reference yeah for reference and
that huge mansion in bel air that he’s
had had like a
like a green grass like a putting green
thing on the top it looked like in like
a gym on the roof and so the guy from
shark tank kevin went over there and
asked him how does he afford all this
and [ __ ] he’s asking me to ask him and
then after all this [ __ ] came out that
dan’s kind of he was renting the home
because they they put oh this is dan
zarin’s home but he’s actually renting
it for some insane amount a month and he
was putting it on the ignite company was
paying for it
and what are you gonna do all he did was
plaster the logo everywhere and would
just use it as a business expense which
you can only do so much
yeah well i guess we’ll see in the next
uh like two or three years if a guy just
disappears i’ll face the planet then
you’re thinking yeah we’ll see correct
well we’re at a we’re at 40.
all right that’s pretty good that’s
pretty good i’d say it’s pretty good um
trevor where can they find you
uh probably nowhere on instagram
um trevor carter right at trevorcard
right no spaces
nice and then you guys can find me and i
say underscore lesney we’re gonna find
you james you can find me at jack
underscore spence or both of us like how
we both have the first underscore
because we made that like in high
school-ish times and we’ve all done the
same thing and just there’s a lot of
jack expenses but the thing is there’s
no isaiah leslie and i still didn’t do
it so what am i doing
but um you know thanks guys for
listening i don’t know what episode it
is i think it’s like 57 56 we’ll figure
it out 69. we’ll figure it out yeah um
oh yeah 69 were just [ __ ] [ __ ] on
the [ __ ] podcast yeah that’d be sick
as [ __ ] yeah um the uh do you want to
shout out the patreon patreon.com
lunch table or subscribe on apple
podcast for episodes early ish you also
get access to atlt radio and access to
exclusive content like our hot ones
episode and other things coming out soon
um yeah that’s that’s that’s really
about it um yeah so for all you people
out there
first first thing
on atltstore.com
there is headbands are released and
that’s hey listen
summertime baby the headbands are coming
out we’re boating we’re going out to the
lake it’s perfect okay beautiful get a
headband there’s other merch on there we
also got uh visors i rocked one too yeah
he’s got a visor on we got a lot of
things coming out and then we’re gonna
come out with more things for summertime
as it approaches slash spring especially
spring break so all you floozies out
there that want something good it’s
going to come fast oh yeah it’s good so
um and also we did take a little hiatus
last week because we had some things
going on but we’re back on the horse
we’re going to be at you next week we
will be at you next week we’ll be right
in your face right in your grill right
in your gooch so you better be [ __ ]
and that’s all i have to say so
thanks guys for listening and we’ll see
you next week and see you
let’s get rowdy up in here

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Episode 57