#54 Chihuahua Terrorist

Episode 54

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J& Z talk about chihuahua’s terrorizing most of the major cities, ball pits, and scary movies.
welcome back slapdicks welcome back to
around launch table episode
58
59
it’s like 55 isn’t it no i don’t think
are you serious
hold up wait i might we were drunk last
time we did the two-parters didn’t we
yeah yeah it was 54 isn’t it it’s 54
dude
because the 53 was part two
i’m plugging my headphone back in here
so yeah you’re
mildly off
just a tad bit uh yeah uh welcome back
guys good to have you uh we do want to
say yes we are actually doing a sober
episode today let’s go okay first of all
we’ve got a handful yeah but most of the
time we’re drinking or already drunk but
yeah i was i was uh we were pretty litty
last time or i was pretty litty so
toning it down a notch but that’s okay
that’s okay we’re having a good time yes
we are first foremost want to thank our
sponsor aperture ocean’s bringing ideas
and ads to life that’s the first time i
think i just pass it off to you wow
which is weird because i kind of just
said it but i’ve actually wasted more
time having you say the second sentence
but um yeah so
things have been pretty [ __ ] nuts
around here happy new year
happy [ __ ] [ __ ] year oh that’s so
hot yeah it’s a new year man 2022. yeah
and betty white [ __ ] died new year’s
so not a good start i mean obviously it
technically wasn’t the new year but not
a good [ __ ] start dude i like how the
uh she peace out some bad’s coming yeah
all the memes were just like betty
white’s like i’m taking the bad of 2022
with me and then she jumps out i’m like
i don’t think that’s how that works yeah
but actually you know we’re gonna be on
twitter and there’s gonna be a picture
of her and juice world and magnetic
miller and having xxx
playing chess or something yeah who’s
the other one there was triple x and
then uh um juice world mac miller a
little peep little peep
yeah some peace little please
nipsy nip
and nipsey is gonna be on there and
nipsey too dude yeah that picture’s
gotta be man that picture’s gotta it
exists it’s got to if you’re talking
about someone who’s just the most
unproblematic person i think betty
white’s up there 99 do you think she was
a tad bit racist because she was that
age honestly i don’t think so i don’t
think so she worked with every i’m
saying
i’d never there was not a single bad
thing about buddy white
really god she just she’s just freaking
she’s just she stayed in the pocket she
stayed
and weaved she ducked a lot of punches i
tipped my cap because i mean everyone in
the celebrity world i mean if you don’t
like a lot of our pieces of [ __ ] so it’s
not even that you do one thing when
you’re like yeah
they’re gonna find it yeah oh 100 yeah
yeah they’re gonna find it and who the
[ __ ] gives us well the only reason they
did is because when she was younger
there was no internet so yeah there’s a
lot of undocumented so that’s true
like maybe i’m not saying she was bad
i’m just saying but like
anyone nowadays we were killed like
they’re gonna there wasn’t cancer
culture back then either no there was so
anyone could you know guys could still
slap their women um i guess before did
you want to do
because if you guys remember we did do
an episode beforehand describe your new
year’s resolutions for the podcast so if
you want to go over that really quick
before i read yeah sure we uh so podcast
is uh we’re a little over a year old
here um and we uh
uh
i guess
i had new year’s resolutions for 2021
and i’m actually surprised we have 22.
or will they oh to accomplish by the end
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah uh
if you guys are long time fans here
which i believe we have a few in the
audience we’ll see maybe two maybe two
maybe three maybe a handful uh so our
first uh i don’t remember what orders we
did these i believe you and i just made
them up together uh we said we wanted to
get a thousand followers on instagram
did that check check we’re at like 2
500. so that’s sexy 24 23 something
something like that it’s over two so he
rounds up yeah
um so yeah we [ __ ] did that there’s
check mark number one uh we wanted five
thousand downloads total
fifty six hundred freaking hit that out
of the park he’s that one i didn’t think
we were going to get but we got that one
we wanted to launch the patreon and get
some patrons
hold that bam
we got three out of four we wanted to
get 60 episodes by the end of the year
we’re 54. but we
went out of town quite a few times and
came back and so especially we were
really in and out a little bit there
yeah summer and holidays i mean i’d say
we had a great fun but we did we did we
were solid for many of the weeks yeah i
mean there’s plenty of times where we’re
like dude we can’t we went to like six
[ __ ] weddings too like we did a lot
we did a lot of [ __ ] you know what we
still got back to the lunch table yeah
we served you up some grub yeah we
that’s what [ __ ] matters um so now
that we did that hawkeye now to the
[ __ ] horseshit the horseshoe okay so
i found this i found this [ __ ]
article from it was water i drank it um
i found this article from the daily news
that i thought was just [ __ ]
amazing and the title of it is stray
chihuahua’s terrorized arizona town
chase children run wild
run one in the caption of the pictures a
little chihuahua growling behind a gate
says who let the dogs out
straight chihuahuas have overrun
maryville arizona and are terrorizing
its residents okay let me just let me
there’s a lot of things let me get over
that first part for a second
if you are being terrorized for a
chihuahua terrorized from a choice
terrorized by a terrorized
you might as well just kill yourself
because you’re not going anywhere like
if a [ __ ] chihuahua can terrorize you
just
it’s you could just step on it you can
kick it it’s like little it’s like a
burrito it’s like a spider you know
we’re all scared of spiders but we’re
you know 100 million times their size
like
maybe it’s that thing i’m just saying
like okay are they rabid chihuahuas okay
the article says terrorizing
this isn’t like all these dogs are
annoying they’re terrorizing the sex of
straight dogs makes it sound like they
got masks on and they got oozies and
they’re running down the street doing
drive-bys
what is going on in maryville arizona
maybe it’s all old people that are
retired
that’s a good choice that is a good
point it’s a bunch of old people who
have nothing else to do all day so they
have to [ __ ] about something exactly
and also in arizona over overrun with
tiny pooches
tiny pooches that are terrorizing
children and defecating anywhere they
want while dogs already do that yeah you
know what this might be just an old
people community yeah they just need a
problem to [ __ ] about dude you know
what it is it was probably like
some just raggedy old lady she has a
neighbor that she doesn’t like and her
dog pooped in her yard and so then she
made up this whole article that you know
like she’s the type to complain about
the neighbor’s grass not being the right
green yeah [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] dumb or
like you know the hedges are supposed to
be cut or something um lowering our
property values allegedly large packs of
small dogs um have formed gangs and they
chase children as they head off from
whether they’re crips and their crips
and blood chihuahuas as they head off to
school
and the number of strays that swelled
beyond control officials and residents
say oh you have the government on this
the pentagon gets together
packs of stray dogs are taking over this
town like what the [ __ ]
see is seal team six [ __ ] coming in
there
i’m just saying
they’re so [ __ ] small what do you
what do you mean like how can
how many trolls you think you could take
or like oh like one man [ __ ] probably
like 15 20. yeah i mean they’re not
actually maybe more than that if i have
jeans because i’ve been thinking ass
because things i’m saying they’re so
small on the ground
i mean they would you would have to fall
for them to even be able to get to
anyone and if i got genius like their
their their teeth are like think about
this like imagine like you’re it’s it’s
like walking through a ball pit you know
you’re just high kneeing it just
snapping their backs on the way down
just [ __ ] them up
do you remember like uh
i mean they’re not [ __ ] wolves like
what what the [ __ ] the uh okay do you
remember the [ __ ] ball pits one how
gross were those we didn’t if you think
about it they [ __ ] are nasty do you
really think they wash every one of
those balls never they probably don’t
even spray with lysol or anything they
don’t do anything yeah so all that
gooch grease and just
sweat do you think anyone’s lost their
virginity in the ball pit honestly
they’d be kind of little that would be
lit like okay listen as a little kid can
you imagine being like a little kid okay
that sounded [ __ ] terrible as a
little kid i’m in a little kid like a
teen like you’re you’re 15 seconds like
a little kid father died i didn’t mean
okay took me to the okay that sounded
really [ __ ] bad i’d take that back
i’m just saying young man i’m just okay
i guess this would be more for like a
kid a little little little kid i meant
like 15 16 but i realized 15 and 16 year
olds aren’t playing in the ball pits
most likely maybe they are
i stopped at like probably 9 10. yeah do
you remember cactus jack yeah i’m just
thinking cactus jack and what do you
guys say
before travis scott the family fun
center cactus jack playhouse jack’s
playhouse dude that [ __ ] was lit [ __ ]
remember the [ __ ] rollers yeah you’d
have to dive through and i would always
like get chased by like these [ __ ]
psycho kids that just spent all day in
there their parents probably left them
yeah and they’re just like okay you’re
gonna live in this [ __ ] playhouse now
let me go terrorize every kid who comes
in because you know every inch they’re
jumping through the holes in the net and
going to the next level because they
know we’re a little inch dude
you’re [ __ ] climbing through remember
those nets with the square hole that
you’d go yeah okay yeah at the end of it
it was at the end yeah yeah can you
imagine you go down there you turn left
you see a little fire
there’s a ton of kids in there i’m
saying because every time i would go
there there were kids like hiding in
there and tear like some of the boys had
to go and crawl in and get the kids out
no that’s not because they were
terrorizing like imagine you you you
look to the left there’s like a
shawshank redemption hole cut in there
there’s little kids with the golfer’s
hats and if they have they have like
[ __ ] spears yeah it’s the kids whose
parents never came back and they’re just
yeah and they just live there dude
they’d run all fours dude and they’d
[ __ ] bite people and [ __ ] dude it was
[ __ ] scary cactus jack has them now
yeah
but that place was [ __ ] lit that [ __ ]
was all you want no that place was dope
but like uh i mean we know someone who
lost her virginity at what 12 you know
what i’m talking about or was it 13 13
13. it wasn’t me yeah no i said we knew
somebody yeah it wasn’t me either yeah i
mean you
i feel like if you didn’t grow fast you
would be acceptable to be in the ball
pit i mean yeah i agree with that
honestly but i get i think in that in
that point in your life through that
young maybe you’re thinking of a kiss in
the ball pit a a kiss kiss in the ball
that could be a song dude a kiss in the
ball
like if you think about how gross those
[ __ ] balls are just an absolute
outrageous how are you even cleaning
ratty that’s the thing they’re just a
bunch of plastic i’m assuming it’s one
[ __ ] employee walk by with like
lights all
and just [ __ ] walk away every day and
it’s
all that just it’s probably been like
that since we were last yeah it’s
[ __ ]
so [ __ ] gross and then the kids that
would dive in and go
swim under it dude there’s probably like
[ __ ] dead bodies in there it looks
like [ __ ] bugs
bunny probably all types of [ __ ] in
there [ __ ] body parts and
cheeseburgers and fries and pizza
imagine just imagine you empty the ball
pit and all the
[ __ ] at the bottom oh [ __ ] band-aids
yep
band-aids like baby teeth
[Laughter]
fingers
a baby
there’s just all types of [ __ ] down
there sarah lost her first tooth in the
ball pit there’s shoes random random
little reeboks [ __ ] socks it’s got those
light up sketchers yeah i just if you
[ __ ] think about how gross that [ __ ]
is [ __ ] hair ties like oh
with hair on them and [ __ ] oh
honestly i’m not kidding you i would not
be surprised if there’s like a dead
little boy down there or something
[ __ ] little jimmy that was never
found he’s just in the family fun center
yeah they got [ __ ] they got people
with hazmat dudes jumping in there
trying to find them yeah no that if you
think about how disgusting that [ __ ] is
like it’s [ __ ] horrendous what else
is gross as a kid like that looking back
on it it was like or another thing
remember like the monkey bars
yeah like or like i remember the monkey
bars yeah i don’t know i remember
i’m just saying like never cleaned once
and it’s just little kids okay well it’s
like it’s outside it’s like a fence it’s
like an outside fence people climb over
fences do you think people are wiping
the fence oh don’t want kids get germs
jumping over these
i just remember like at one point they
get greasy you know and it’s hard to
keep your grip
i mean yeah that’s true yeah but
did you ever did you ever have a kid in
school that got stuck in them you know
when you’d sit on
sit
oh yeah yeah it was i believe it was
kids
no [ __ ] he got stuck in it the other way
like the fire department came out wait a
fire department the [ __ ] he couldn’t get
out
really so like you know if you sit on
top of it but then your butt goes in
yeah then he couldn’t lift himself out
but he couldn’t oh i feel like you could
have there’s no top on it i feel like
you could have just [ __ ] got him out
i think someone could just pull them out
that’s what the firemen were for i know
do you think a little old first grade
teacher’s gonna climb up there [ __ ]
full of though i mean if i was a teacher
and it was in trouble i’d definitely i i
think i could climb to the top of a
playset
okay our teachers were like 60 60 60 60
chris
50. yeah but um did you ever um
were you
ever like
did you ever get in trouble for bullying
somebody
i would say yeah i’m gonna say 100 yes
yeah i think i might have told this
story there was a girl named jessica and
i made a song about her being a whale
yeah i think you said that in like the
early episodes yeah it was like here
comes jessica she’s as big as a whale
and her clothes are on sale
that was the whole song that’s [ __ ] up
man yeah me and this one i scarred her a
little like she’ll look back i was
bullied in school she’s talking about
you probably no we ended up being great
friends throughout high school this is
in middle school oh yeah wow um no my
friend so she used you as an example of
a bully yeah my friend jake
and i wrote the
song and then we went to interscope and
pitched it uh it didn’t work though we
went to la reid’s office and then say
hey what do you think yeah he has album
credits um but no me and him wrote the
song together
why
okay so [ __ ] dumb no but here’s the
thing so she
um told the teacher right crying
so then mrs olsen remember her oh
and uh she’s she’s a nice lady now but
she but she was nice then it’s just
she every day when she was just walking
down same with a lot of the teachers
they would be walking down the [ __ ]
horror trip i remember i would just like
[ __ ] look over like i’m like this
woman’s got places to be and it’s just
to go get someone in trouble like just
absolutely motoring through the hallways
you know like she’s speed walking he’ll
tell he’ll like a librarian that heard
someone speak very loudly just you need
this she’s taking care of business yes
um so basically we wrote the song
together and they
call us in right okay one by one
now me i’m no rat so i say they said so
uh jessica said that you you know wrote
this song here come jessica’s big whales
was like no i’ve never heard it no
yeah i’m looking for a feature actually
i was like i was hoping to get uh
anyways um
and i [ __ ] i uh
i totally just denied it but he admitted
it oh that kind of ruins the whole thing
here’s the thing we would have both got
in trouble if we admitted it but because
i lied to teach him a lesson that
lying’s bad they’re like you don’t get
in trouble now and so i got suspended
for lying
i was like you know what i ain’t no
snitch i should be [ __ ] praised i
should be given a parade through the
streets yeah you should be i’m sorry if
i was you should be like bobby schmurder
when he got released dude dude cause
everyone’s decorating you with diamonds
exactly if i was a teacher and i’m
looking at this kid just look at me like
nope i’m like i’m like respect though
yeah i’m back for not ready
and then they’re like did jake i’m like
nope you learned a valuable lesson at a
young age yeah i did i did time in the
pen
you took a couple years in the pen i had
to miss out on the jet boat trip um
this is a little off topic um are you
are you a big chicken sandwich guy um
yeah mcbiggens i mean yeah just all
types so i guess my question to you is
is in the church you had chicken today
right i didn’t but that’s not the point
this question what did you get chicken
breast filling box with mashed potatoes
and some
i don’t like the gravy i don’t mind the
bush
no i’m saying out of all the chicken
sandwiches when i say chick-fil-a
popeyes which one ray i know a while
back it’s still a big thing but it was a
bigger thing
which which one would you arrange i
already know
you say chick-fil-a
no popeyes
the mcbacon
i’m not saying a mcchicken a mcchicken
is not in the crispy chicken sandwich no
it’s not no we’re talking about
chocolate crispy chicken sandwich yeah
chick-fil-a definitely
you just said a mcchicken beats
chick-fil-a yeah are you out of your
[ __ ] mind because there’s no it’s not
about the chicken
what’s it’s a chicken sandwich it’s not
about the chicken
tell me you’re trolling tell me i’m
saying my answer there is no way on
god’s green earth that mcchicken is
beating out popeyes and chick-fil-a
you’re out of your god can i say why
convenience and presence maybe yes
convenience that’s why the only reason
i’m not saying that i’m saying taste
like what do you like what do you like
more i thought it was just like overall
oh you’re covering your tracks no you
knew what i meant no i just said which
one is top tier what someone’s the best
chick-fil-a mcbacon
a mcchicken a mcchicken
i can’t believe that you just said that
dude they’re [ __ ] bomb yeah they are
good i get them all the time i’m just
saying when i get like out of all the
crispy chicken and other and the ice
cream sandwich i can have like
mcdonald’s has a crispy chicken sandwich
i’m saying added the coconut chicken
isn’t a crispy chicken sandwich
it’s a chicken sandwich but it’s not the
chicken sandwich
of mcdonald’s or of the world of
mcdonald’s mcdonald’s also if you
release oh they have a keeper with
everyone it’s just new oh if i kept up
with the crispy chicken sandwich well if
you can’t make bickens every day you
would have seen the sign i don’t get
mcpickens every day well you just said
you just put a mcchicken over the
chick-fil-a chicken sandwich i’m just
gonna pop eyes i’m saying about it yeah
you have changed your answer twice now
you have said oh i thought it was for
the place all convenience because you
want to say you are a fraud no you are
so i’m like you know fine i’ll stick my
first answer make chicken i’ll take the
heat i’ll take the [ __ ] yeah but i’m
saying i said what’s hate there’s no way
you think that tastes the best because
you asked me a question and i gave you
my and i
i was about to like respect your answer
until you gave me that because you walk
into chick-fil-a there’s something
special going on behind those doors oh
yeah there’s something special that was
the first place it was ever called sir
it was chick-fil-a yeah great employees
and mcdonald’s they’ll spit your food
even though they give you good service
do you remember that movie get out
with the yeah with the black people who
are like
like hypnotized no that’s not racist no
i know it’s
i’m just saying i know it’s not
i just thought oh
the african-american foreign
people who are hypnotized that’s what
chick-fil-a workers look like they’re
just like
thank you so much for your you know yeah
well you know that’s why i said there’s
something special going on in that
company you know or they’re [ __ ]
brainwashed i mean if they’re doing it
they’re doing it good yeah but they
don’t work sundays that’s cool
that is nice yeah that is nice because i
mean at every any most food places like
you’re not you’re working outside
actually those are like the worst days
because everyone’s off but everyone’s
out and about so yeah because it’s like
it was a christian thing right because
the owners are christian correct i think
that’s in and out no that’s that’s why
they don’t work on sunday oh really
because they observe the sabbath that’s
pretty sick yes also hobby lobby yeah um
we’ve actually been on a what i want
somewhat of a horror movie binge lately
have we not yeah annabelle no thank you
annabelle the conjuring and well i’ve
already seen mostly insidious is all the
country i actually didn’t see the
annabelles until the other day though
but [ __ ] pretty [ __ ] crazy movies
i had to watch through my fingers and
over the blanket
yeah but i will say this um i think one
of the creepier things about most of
those movies is obviously some of the
things that dramatic a little more
dramaticized for effect but i’m saying a
lot of that [ __ ] is actually like a long
historian [ __ ] which is kind of crazy i
thought the most interesting one was i
don’t know did you see the conjuring was
it two i’ve seen another one with like
that guy arnie was at his [ __ ] name
he stabs that guy in the dog kettle
place and he’s possessed okay
i’ve seen it yes he stabs that guy okay
i’m just like are you here are you
coming i’m drunk let’s get back down to
earth we’re here earth to jack we’re
here we’re here we’re here anyways so
remember in that movie the guy goes to
court and they actually
try to get him to plead not guilty for
sessions because the church
the government recognizes yeah okay
sorry go ahead that if a court of law
which you swear an oath on the bible
recognizes god it also has to recognize
evil in satan yeah which is actually one
of the first cases what happened in
england way before that but actually
when the first case he got manslaughter
for actually murdering somebody because
they were able to prove demonic
possession [ __ ] nuts that’s nuts
it does make sense because god stuff is
all over our currency yes
it’s in the foundation the entire it was
punched in the plymouth [ __ ] rock
with the paper
when the main powers still i don’t know
why it just got really [ __ ] it’s like
a martin luther king no i’m on fire um
fire for the lord
[Laughter]
um but like the entire country was built
once
that back if you’re like what the [ __ ]
am i doing
built them [ __ ] plymouth i was
playing right now [ __ ] plymouth rock
oh
yeah but no like the entire nation was
built on christianity so why would we
not recognize the other side of it no
exactly yeah because actually not trying
to go down too far down this rabbit hole
i think there’s a lot more times
evidence of the evil than the good
what
you’re just like
with your finger out
actually actually anyways what um i
believe that there’s a lot more evidence
of the evil side of things than the good
side yeah i agree with that
no it’s just funny watching your body
language and everything growing your
verbiage i like it god you know me for
almost 20 years and you’re a true
salesman
i mean i don’t think you’re a good one
but i guess your customers do so
whatever give a [ __ ]
you’re funny yeah but the uh those
[ __ ] movies man so i do have i think
i asked this last night but i know i
want a real answer here oh because i’m
just not this way
okay do you actually not turn away at
any point in those movies like you sit
there eyes open and watch that creepy
figure
not really i usually kind of i’m getting
the full experience
because like a lot of times like i get
pretty spooked right it’s big
i get pretty sick sometimes i get pretty
spooked
um [ __ ]
oh
yeah
but what i’m saying is like what the
[ __ ] okay you just turned like a to a
southern wife for a second i get pretty
spooked
that sounds like bruce off family guy um
what i’m saying is is like
the uh
i get pretty spooked
yeah you do okay you know when the
pop-out happens yeah you’re like ah you
look you know
you don’t look away do you you just sit
there and stare at it i i do i jump and
i’m like whoa and then i look back
away but i usually i’m always looking
usually like i can jump but i’m still
looking because i’m into the movie wow
because if you jump means you’re not see
i don’t like to get that picture of
whatever that is too long in my head
because then i’ll like but you’ve
already seen it yeah i’m just like
oh no oh no
no i’m saying but that’s
well that’s exactly what is like what
those movies i’m saying most of them are
glimpses and because they’re jump scares
like most of it’s a short period of time
because they don’t want to but when it’s
like the person crawling on all four
like no and that one and a dude okay
listen when me and alex and i were
watching what was it the second
annabelle or some [ __ ] the she was in
the apartment building i don’t [ __ ]
know but
when that [ __ ] thing look it was
really dark and you couldn’t really make
you barely make it out but you could see
it’s like the oh yeah oh when it was on
all fours and looking up and like i was
[ __ ] terrified that [ __ ] was
unsettling i was shaking in my boots the
one that i didn’t get is remember when
there was just like a random samurai
warrior chilling in the hall yeah
and then it looks yeah it was just like
it was a samurai outfit but okay
obviously all of these things were
connected to terrible things because
like you get closer and you hear a bunch
of people getting sliced i’m like why
does this have to be there that’s this
is completely out of place we have dead
presidents we have dolls monkeys toys
and then we have a [ __ ] samurai yeah
it’s like if that wasn’t in there and
she just walked through the hallway the
movie would have been the same yeah it
was that was a weird thing but i think
it was just because
i think it was telling us like you know
the the cost of war
really
well they didn’t give us any backstory
that so that i mean we heard people
screaming maybe he was like a mercenary
samurai well i’m assuming
villages and [ __ ] i’m assuming yeah but
that doesn’t mean he’s demonic just
means he’s bloodthirsty well yeah well i
mean maybe it was a demon that possessed
him to slaughter the people who knows we
didn’t get a backstory so it’s all
conjecture that’s gonna be uh annabelle
four when annabelle’s a little original
it’s about rice it’s about flour we stay
hungry
what’s my [ __ ] name [ __ ]
such a bad song
dude do you remember when kevin hart
dropped his rap album oh my god what was
he called the chocolate dropper
that was so bad
there’s a huge tracker to people who
aren’t rappers drop
drop music and nine times out of ten
it’s [ __ ] i mean the rock song i
thought was bad but we all sing it it
was catchy though it was kind of i think
it was it’s about we were singing it
sarcastically yeah but it was still that
still plays yeah it’s like six nine like
people are still [ __ ] singing okay
gumbo though gumbo okay
hot trash he always has been that’s what
dropped that beat what pierre bourne
that beat
i don’t know how six nine got his paws
on it but
that [ __ ] is [ __ ] that beat was fine
oh that actually i was almost like
speaking of what does have to do with
spider-man nothing
i don’t know um did you ever watch were
you a big fan of the old spider-man’s
toby mcguire yeah
yeah yeah did you get spooked did you
get spooked i got spooked um i was just
gonna say i actually think dude do you
wanna know what that sounds like the
[ __ ] orc when they’re gonna eat the
puppets
um
i honestly
took i
wanna take a shot
i don’t know
is that oh the other one isn’t that like
the jalapeno pineapple don’t if you
touch that i’m moving out i’m not gonna
drink it look at read the read the
flavor on that one it’s sticky it’s
sticky what is it okay how can this how
can this possibly taste wow the
reflection i can’t even [ __ ] this is
spiced pineapple jalapeno what you want
to try the spiced apple i’ll try the
spiced apple [ __ ] it you know hey it’s
the new year but anyways i was gonna say
i actually really liked the old
spiderman especially the very first one
yeah with the green goblin i thought
that one was definitely the worst okay i
actually i thought three wasn’t bad i’m
saying cause the ending was pretty sweet
it wasn’t horrible the ending was pretty
sick
the ending was pretty sick problem is
i’m a big emma stone fan and i think
she’s very attractive for some reason
yeah i think she’s attractive yeah yeah
and for some reason blonde gwen blonde
gwen
now you’re cooking with fire yeah now
we’re putting some now we’re putting
some seasoning in that pan yeah now we
are yeah but um i would say because i
think william defoe did a really good
job with green goblin that was a sick
yeah did you see the new one yet no you
haven’t no i haven’t i tired of it for
you i got to give that to you yeah was
it in russian
no oh okay that’s good no it’s like
there’s not even japanese subtitles well
that’s kind of nice
i would say though i’m just saying the
earliest but toby mcguire got a lot of
[ __ ] for his i thought he was i
thought he was really good and if
someone’s at the first the first one was
[ __ ] good dude green goblin
everything like that how was it
the taste on my lips is pretty good
it tastes like apples well i i’d assume
spiced apple but um do you remember that
scene in spider-man 1 when um
norman
when norman like i know i’m on a first
name basis yeah norman yeah boy norman
um when he got like voted off the board
at ozcorp and that’s when he became
green goblin and he killed those [ __ ]
guys and then he’s like
in the meeting he was like
goes public he was like they told like
selling the company he said you can’t do
this to me
i started this company
do you have any idea what i sacrificed
he’s like you’re out norman
and then he goes to the parade as green
goblin and that dude in wheelchair falls
off and he throws one of his pumpkin
grenades on the [ __ ] thing and
disintegrates them all out am i
i don’t know anyways i’m not gonna quote
the whole thing it was just [ __ ]
funny yeah disintegrated a guy in a
wheelchair for no [ __ ] reason that
was his friend killed him get out yeah
cancel culture would have got that
nowadays he’s like too bad you can’t run
roll away buddy
[ __ ] up yeah it is that’s bad
okay i’ll be honest i actually like that
that’s not horrible
that tastes like a way
what fireball wanted to taste like
fireball cinnamon i know but like that
just that
the burn
yeah yeah i’m uh i’m kind of a rum and
coke guy now but after sunday
yeah when we did those two episodes i
was on like my sixth roman yeah you were
i was absolutely trashed i had to cut
out the two minutes before 10 minutes
no i was saying because when we did it
like remember like we did the first one
i’m like hey i’m like that one’s not
funny because we we started the first
time it wasn’t because it wasn’t
actually funny it just took us so long
to get to any points that it was just
like
all this
just fluff all this fluff and just dog
[ __ ] and then we got to the point now
okay it’s funny but the funny part was
way down here and this was all just blue
yeah
so yeah but anyways we gave it you give
it your best bet you know what i mean
are you looking
behind me
don’t even look a lot you’re just like
well we’re at 30. yeah we’re ending this
now because he’s just not here i’m
literally sober
no you’re sober but you’re not anywhere
to be found yeah check your milk cartons
jack spence is missing the lights are on
and no one’s home yeah that’s literally
um
well that’s 30 minutes um
[Music]
do you think
that
um if someone was
how do i put this
if someone was to run in
like up to you and
there’s cops after them and
like you see where they go and they hide
are
but you don’t know they could have done
something terrible but you have no idea
oh no i’m not saying anything you’re not
saying anything because i can’t even get
in trouble for that i just be like i
didn’t see like yeah i’d probably do the
same thing yeah if it’s something we’re
like i’m gonna be an accomplice to
murder some [ __ ] i’m only saying
that in case i commit a crime in them
hopefully if it’s you i’d accomplish
your murder any day just tell them tell
me when nice well now we have a [ __ ]
deposition to go through after this so
well [ __ ] goons are on deck man
you got a shooter uh sure
hey gilmore meet me at the 10th green uh
at nine
hey gilmore
wear something nice
is that when they put the sprinklers on
yeah god they got them good yeah they
got oh my god
um jack where can they find you they can
find me a jagger there’s course benzene
where can they find you where can they
find you
they can find me and isaiah underscores
me on scramble both more instagrams
around the lunch table instagram page
we want i do want to talk about uh
patreon.com we’re supposed to say at the
beginning of the [ __ ] episode
patreon.com episodes early-ish and uh uh
exclusive content oh
oh oh
atlt radio it’s done
um it’s done yeah we were launching that
2022 we briefly talked maybe we talked
about it last time we did but we were um
i have officially set up uh microphones
in my car we’re gonna try to get z’s
done too
um we’re gonna try to do tuesdays and
thursdays it’s gonna be live radio on
the way home we’re just gonna rant about
like just a little clips like 10 minutes
yeah 10 20 minute [ __ ] you can listen
to it live it’s just going to be each of
us solo eh yeah
yeah yeah
yeah
yeah
do you have any crack yes yes where in
my house um
the uh but yeah so the thing is
atltradio.com you can listen to it live
5 p.m
uh pacific time and that’s for everybody
but if you miss those or you know you’re
not on pacific time or whatever they
will be posted on the patreon for
further listening but if you don’t get
it live and you’re not a member you
don’t ever get to hear it again and let
me tell you
yeah so yeah we got hclc radio check
that out atltradio.com atlt stored up
yeah we got three wishes i could do it
by myself
we’re on the lunchtable.com
atltstore.com atlt radio and you can go
to one of the websites there you go go
get some [ __ ] merch and they all link
to each other it’s [ __ ] great check
it out atlc radio you can hear us
[ __ ] atlt to the moon
anyways that’s what makes the subaru
your subaru
yes anyways and actually um our dear
beloved jack is going to mexico next
week or wait tomorrow i [ __ ] play out
tomorrow yeah and i have not packed a
thing and he’s
and he’s going to be gone he’s
actually he’s aries he’s actually gonna
be gone tomorrow for a week so you come
back next tuesday i will be back monday
night okay so
not quite a week
um so yeah he’ll be back monday so
actually we will be on time to release
that i just don’t know if they’ll be on
time to release as long as my covid test
is negative i don’t have to stay another
10 days that would suck i’m sitting here
by myself hey guys so uh jack’s not here
we lost him but all right sounds good
well dude if i actually did get
quarantined we just [ __ ] remote do it
facetime done that’d be fun
i kind of want to get quarantined oh no
i can’t go to work i gotta stay in
mexico for ten days oh no yeah that’d be
fun until you walk out of the resort and
see a head on a stake we’re in cabo not
tijuana
remember that family guy i took one step
outside the resort
anywho all right well thank you guys for
listening uh we will see you next week
and jack you may or may not see him
depending if he gets kidnapped or he
gets raped given drugs he doesn’t know
it and then he gets arrested or drugs
and he does know it
but anyway so thank you guys for
listening it’s been hell of a time uh
2022. here we come atlt we’re coming for
you that was so [ __ ] gay
we’re coming for you 2022 don’t tread on
me come and take it all right we’ll see
you guys next week bye
[Music]
let’s get rowdy up in here

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Episode 54