#23 Dolphin Assassins

Episode 23

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J&Z talk about dolphin assassins, when we were mean, and foot orgasms. Follow us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/aroundthelunchtable/?hl=en

welcome back slap dicks this is around
the lunch table episode
23 23. jordan year oh
and before i forget first and foremost
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featuring jordan obaya oh by state yeah
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2200 a little over 2200 downloads
they are just they are raining like rain
it’s pouring like rain down here in the
download section it
it is a little bit though i’m saying
there was one day
we had like a lot yeah i know i’m
a big deal if i post about things
yeah people if you build it they will
come yeah you know you just gotta
it’s like you know back in the day you
know advertising wasn’t as simple as it
was you had to go to the town square you
had to yell at people make a little sign
nowadays you know when you’re as big of
a deal as you are you just gotta post on
instagram what year are you talking
seventeen hundreds in the colonial times
yeah maybe
did you know that uh so we’re we live up
on what what’s up
i’m sorry i cut you off um i’ll cut you
off but um
i was gonna continue because i figured
you’d back down
okay so i’m going to continue mine
because you’re just staring at me look
stupid so
what did what was the point of like the
crier like you know the guys who were
just sitting out and it wasn’t
everyone he was everyone’s alarm clock
basically let people like or like tell
like you do the time or like i don’t
know you and i are totally thinking of
fable aren’t we yeah
112 o’clock and all that’s that’s from
that’s from the animated robin hood that
is he’s the vulture with the spear
please talk if you guys are that
old-school robin hood movie with the fox
and the bear and they’re all animals and
the [ __ ] guards are vultures with
and crossbows yeah but anyways town
so what he just [ __ ] yells the time
how does he tell the time
the sun maybe he counts i think they
just do by like sun up
midday and then sunday there are people
out there that can like tell
time well no i know i know they have
like sun dials and [ __ ] but i’m saying
yeah but who’s got that do you ever see
that mcdonald’s sign was like the
sundial tells you what
you should have for breakfast i have
never seen that it was on a billboard
you want to hear something interesting
about advertisement mcdonald’s
genius marketing idea so what they did
on the side of the freeway they planted
all these yellow flowers in the shape of
an m
and it apparently is illegal to pick
lowest flowers or flowers in that area
so it was free advertisement inside the
freeway so basically
it cost them nothing except to buy the
flowers why does mcdonald’s
free advertising i mean i mean everyone
knows that they are but i’m just saying
it’s a genius idea and it’s funny uh so
uh z and i were we were chatting
the other day we chat a lot we do we do
live together
uh actually my uh co-worker asked
so my co-worker listened to down with
the sickness
your beautiful cover so he’s like he’s
because he doesn’t really know like who
you are
so he was like that’s good yeah so he’s
like so is that guy like your
bff for like what’s going on and i was
like yeah it’s just like it’s like my
my best friend we’re gay yeah he’s like
so like butt stuff and i’m like
okay you know what’s funny this isn’t
the first time that people thought we
were gay
yeah no because we’re always hanging out
like 24 7.
well we live together yeah i meant like
since like seventh grade we were always
yeah not like them but i’m saying like
people that
it was all people that didn’t really
know us that well but i’m saying there’s
always that but even the people that
know what’s best they’re like uh
like you guys are we’re a little we’re
the gate we’re the gay straight guys
ever bro
yeah but we hug that’s that’s it that’s
as far as it’s gone we haven’t crossed
the line
nothing that you guys know yes but i
will say this
i will say this yes that
it i feel a compliment coming in here
comes the compliment train
it’s not a compliment
i will say this that
we’re waiting i feel like it was more
people who didn’t like know us that well
it was like
okay well in this day and age i’m just
saying like oh it’s a lot more common
and prevalent so i’m like i’m like no
it’s my [ __ ] boy yeah you know and
we only get like really huggy when we’re
drinking and everyone gets huggy when
they’re drinking
you know what’s funny is you get you get
really what’s funny because it’s like
when you get over like 30 that’s not
but it’s like it’s like because like me
it’s like you know but it’s it’s with
people like
don’t get twisted it’s like only people
like i know i don’t just get drunk it’s
[ __ ] random people yeah but have you
noticed like you know say you like
hug a girl and then it’s like oh wait
was that where it’s like i better
hug her boyfriend too you know that kind
of even things out yeah
but i’m saying even though you don’t
mean it that way i know yeah but that’s
a weird scenario is when you walk
when it’s a couple you know it’s not a
big deal like for example i see jacob
and martin it’s like because i
know mallory’s yeah but if it’s someone
you know the person but not their
significant other
have you ever seen that video of j cole
at the nba game and people like dude
this is how you greet
your your boy’s girlfriend and he taps
her up what do you think about that
i don’t know about that i i don’t know
because i feel like and then the girl’s
like oh he doesn’t want to [ __ ] greet
me normally you know what i mean yeah
exactly so it’s like i’m
the guy that it’s like if you hug one
you hug them both
right you [ __ ] when you [ __ ] both
yeah exactly i mean i mean
uh no but i have been in that situation
where it’s like
you know because i’m a huggy guy even
when i’m not drunk it’s like hey you
know see man like you know blah blah
blah blah
you give me this look i’m just i’m just
thinking god i love the way you think
uh you know i’m a huggy guy and it’s
when you’re hugging people goodbye you
know say you hug the dude then it’s like
i’m not gonna shake the girl’s hand like
thank you for coming over i mean if it’s
a business deal it’s funny
if i don’t know what to do i’ll just
[ __ ] walk away
no i’m not there’s been times where
i mean either a i mean i didn’t know
either of them really well
so it was like i’m like okay it wouldn’t
be that weird if i just slipped away and
avoided the whole comment
yeah the whole choice and then another
one was like
maybe at one point you and this
girl talked at once yeah
so it’s and then that you know that
person knows you’re i can’t you know
what i’m just going to completely
remove myself in this situation but i
would say more times than not regardless
if i even question it i just leave
really i just leave
the worst part is when you notice all
right i’ll give you far away so back
okay bye
so i don’t because i’m not gonna run
across the courtyard i need to give him
a [ __ ] hug
but yeah i i i uh it’s the worst
situation which is when you know the
girl not the guy
so the girl’s like oh my god that’s
as a guy you know how that you’re like
oh yeah and then
and then it’s like this and it’s not the
little you know the little dad hug it’s
like the little yeah and the girl like
has never greeted you that way before
now you’re going to act like i’m your
expert make him jealous yeah i am a tool
i am a utility
yeah that’s [ __ ] possible i will not
be you because as a dude i’m saying
like i’m saying we’re cool about but i’m
saying like there’s been times i’m like
yeah okay okay you know and as a dude
instantly when she gives you that hug
you and that dude telepathically
i’m so sorry right that was six years
listen man i know exactly how it feels
yeah the uh cause then the girls
look oh my god jumping around like
you’ve never greeted me like that i know
isn’t that weird have you okay yeah
little manipulators i know you’ve had
i know you have i’ve never even seen it
but i know you have because i’ve had it
if i’ve had it you’ve got hiv
yes um it’s like a girl that’s
never been like that or like you’ve
never like
or you’ve been friends yes but then like
she’s with her boyfriend she’s like
jack and then runs and like jumps on you
and it’s like
that has happened to me so many times
but then you have to act like
like you like give them a little tour
because it’s like you have to act like
you’re cool with it but inside it’s like
why are you doing this while you’re
doing this while you’re doing this
yeah i’m saying that’s happened on more
occasions than i can actually count like
in my lifetime
yeah like it’s like how the [ __ ] are you
it’s over beyond what it is yeah yeah
and it’s it’s so
weird because i’m saying it’s it’s the
just being a little manipulative yeah
little a little stir in the pot a little
they love that they love stirring that
pot stern that stew
yeah it’s like or have you ever
i guess it could be either way but i
think we can all agree the majority of
the time it’s girls
like well everything will be fine yeah
but then they’ll start like complaining
to you about
the person they’re with their guys yeah
as they’re like hanging out with
like i’m like it’s very strange i’m like
okay what the [ __ ] are you like
like is things going so well you have to
make an issue so then yeah exactly i
don’t understand
they just don’t like to be happy i don’t
like that’s what it is i’m sorry your
life sucks don’t drag me into it
another note have you noticed moms
have you noticed some moms you know they
get to that age you know
higher 50s upper 50s not upper upper
temperatures will be the upper 50s and
zlatan i actually wanted to be a
meteorologist for a long time
really i did is that what you want to be
as a kid yeah that’s an ambulance driver
but i’m saying
i got like 10 11 12 13 i was like i want
to be in here i want to be a cable guy
because that’s what my dad was
like what did he actually install cable
i don’t think so i just remember my dad
had like a bucket truck and it was like
yeah i want to do that and then
like no you don’t and then when i was
like 10 i was like i really want to sell
buses and then that’s you know a
lifelong dream that’s what happened
yeah i’m sure that’s how it went yeah
yeah that was exactly oh i mean i was
like dude i really
want to get into commercial tires like i
want to ruin my [ __ ] body
and just blast my back i want to have i
want to give myself scoliosis
yeah i always picture that i’m like i
always want to be underpaid and work
so i know i’ve really earned please can
i please
be underpaid and work my ass off and i
want no one to appreciate my hard work
yeah that’s exactly it’s just have you
ever had like
you ever had a boss that like you knew
liked you but had to be like a little
stern you know
yeah yeah yeah i had one at safeway’s
name was keyshawn king
that’s a dope name yeah sean king sounds
like a superhero
damn keyshawn king yeah no shout out
keith that’s a dope ass name
dude this guy so no joke so like
i i don’t know what i expected but at
i mean he was like professional so he
was like the manager of the store
and so he’d always walk really fast that
was really cool but um
so he was like the manager of the store
and i just knew him as this professional
[ __ ] guy so one day he comes in on
the weekend
drunk is [ __ ] some gucci slides and
you basketball shorts and a white tee
and he’s like you what’s up jack and i
was like what’s up man
he’s like i gotta show you this song and
it was tyga um
don’t tell me it was like it was so bad
it was
uh it was uh it was
from one of his mixtapes it basically
was just like talking about [ __ ]
[ __ ] crazy but he he was cool my
other boss at safeway
actually how did he describe him he said
i was insubordinate
but i got [ __ ] done and i was like that
evens out i feel like there’s
okay not insubordination but a good mix
of like
thinking on your own with a like you
know not a robot that just like yes sir
yeah i know how to have fun but i get my
job done well i wasn’t thinking about
that but oh okay
well yeah the uh i don’t know
the other thing so gold also have you
ever noticed at jobs
you can i would consider myself a above
average employee
a good employee but how is it that the
shitty employees
always get away with slacking off and
then like the one time you like
or like kind of just chilling for a
second or like you know you’re not even
you’re not even really bullshitting
you’re just like
maybe but it appears maybe you are and
then you get [ __ ] railings right
so many [ __ ] times i’m like this dude
is sat there for 45 minutes i stay here
for one minute and i’m [ __ ] get
yeah the uh i think well the way they
put is like i expect more out of you
that’s like then why are we paid the
it’s so true it’s like well you know i
just i just hold you at a higher level
it’s like a higher level looks better
you know it’s funny you know i think
it’s funny is when you
it seems to be a big thing today is that
you go apply for job or like you’re
looking at jobs or whatever
where you’re just like browsing and you
see 18 dollars an hour
requirements master’s degree what the
[ __ ] did i go get a master’s for if i’m
getting paid three dollars more than
[ __ ] peter at mcdonald’s i have
noticed like have you seen the [ __ ] like
like google like
30 of their employees don’t even have
degrees yeah it’s true
yeah that’s kind of cicada that’s what
cicada oh oh the butterfly yeah
that wasn’t a butterfly uh so i did want
to talk about something uh
z and i have uh we discussed it so
there is a way there is a way
that if you tickle someone’s feet enough
they have an orgasm it’s not a tickle
it’s nerve endings and pressure points
and you know what’s funny that
i guess you could say one of these
questions arose
is um there is an episode in shameless
where this hippie ass grandma
was like massaging lips foot and [ __ ]
and he ended up
and she was like into all that like get
into that situation where like
but you know massaging your feet okay i
don’t [ __ ] know ask the producers but
i’m just saying
the whole the concept of it apparently
it’s a thing
like with pressure points and nerve
endings and like chakras or some [ __ ] i
don’t [ __ ] know
but apparently it’s a real thing i’m
gonna google right now
okay i actually have a serious question
for you do you remember
like things as a kid like things that
you didn’t know were weird at the time
and then you’re grown up but you like
delete them from your memory kind of
it’s like dude i remember you and i okay
i don’t know if you’re ever gonna
remember this i don’t know i’m listening
i don’t know if you ever remember this
you and i went to like
this trailer park in white city to grab
weed and we went in there and hung with
this dude for like 35 minutes while he
was singing
and it’s like dude do you remember that
at all exactly and it’s like dude it’s
little [ __ ] that like you did as a kid
that you don’t think is weird
and then it’s like wow that was very
strange or like when those like
yeah we used to like yeah his uncle used
to like smoke weed with us and then
looking back it’s like he wasn’t really
wasn’t that cool
he just smoked drugs with kids it’s like
we were 16 and your mom’s like smoking
with us like
it’s like it’s strange we do know well
that was fun actually um
it is possible to bring a woman to
orgasm through non-genital touch
even through a foot massage really i’m
gonna read into this
okay um is it possible to learn this
dear reader is possible to bring a woman
to orgasm through non-genital
touch even through a foot massage
apparently in dudes it’s possible too
but like it’s different
pressure points however since every
person is different and what brings them
to orgasm varies it seems unlikely that
there is a
massage technique that works on every
but it’s certainly an interesting story
you may be surprised to know that the
most critical sex organ is the brain the
brain interprets sensory stimuli
such as touch taste smell etc and sends
signals to the body that create arousal
any form of touching can be interpreted
as sexual sexually stimulating
through some part of the body known as
erogenous zones
are more likely to elicit arousal the
erogenous erogenous zones include
anus breasts inner thighs armpits
navel your belly button oh that’s not a
i don’t care who wrote it have you ever
seen a girl with an audi belly button
yeah have you ever figured when it made
her [ __ ]
this article says that that’s a spot of
the belly button no okay hold on hold on
weird ear okay tickle my ears dumbbells
well i think you could like lick their
what the [ __ ] i feel like i’m a seal
going for a grape when i do that
that’s like the um what the f navel i’ve
that’s okay obviously it’s not like a
main but i’m saying it’s apparently
that’s a primary zone the belly button
you can make a girl come through her
belly but not let’s not forget that
armpits are okay no
i’m saying it doesn’t mean they can
armpits it doesn’t mean
that that spot can make them come but
i’m saying that’s a primary erogenous
that elicits arousal
so so do you [ __ ] the belly button or
yeah then you [ __ ] the belly button no
i’m just saying i don’t know what you do
you tickle it you’re
you can you imagine you thank you you
tickle it
you’re like making out with a girl right
like you’re start feeling shocked and
you go
you’re going for the baby what the [ __ ]
was that you want a white willy
dude can you imagine a girl sitting out
there she’s like
and i’m i’m sure it’s not saying that
these spots can make people like orgasm
i’m saying it’s
it’s a primary spot that can elicit or
else apparently
huh which is very intriguing and i would
call [ __ ]
yeah if i fingered a girl’s belly button
i think i would get
slapped or like the whole yeah you know
when they’re like kind of roll over
yeah oh here’s a question here’s a
you would know exactly what i’m talking
about why is it sometimes like
you know you go home with a woman or
something right
and you’re just gonna go to bed okay and
you’re in the same bed right so
everything’s cool
yeah and then she like
does the little like butt to the dick
thing where she’s like oh
and she gets all comfortable yeah and
it’s like what do you expect
and then you go in for the kiss and
she’s like we’re just friends it’s like
your cheeks are surrounding my penis
or it’s like or something like that will
it’s like no i’m not in the mood then
why the [ __ ]
are you twerking again yeah yeah like
what what
they do that it’s like you don’t that’s
what you don’t have to do well
apparently there’s
stimulation or something somewhere so if
a girl has an audi button do you just
like rub it really fast and then
okay for the eighth time it doesn’t mean
that i’m just saying that’s what it said
i know i’m saying stimulation
i guess i don’t know
i don’t know wait okay let me ask you
watch i’ve never been with a i’ve ever
like fooled around with a girl with a
audi belly button
i don’t think so i have not i’ve only
seen one audi belly button i’ve seen
people have audis and they didn’t look
that weird
no i i know that’s not weird now the
only audi belly button i’ve ever seen
was in little league i was like 10.
this kid was getting dressed and i
thought he had like
like bro don’t move don’t move
my hat i’m like ready to [ __ ]
traumatized him that’s [ __ ] mean yeah
i was like wow that’s bad
i’m just one of those kids just like wow
tommy let me see that thing yeah
let’s let those things breathe i know i
don’t i cause isn’t an audi
belly button is like when they cut the
umbilical cord like two it’s when you
have a shitty doctor and this isn’t kind
of close
just a doctor that was shitty at arts
and craps
not the guy you’re doing your origami
okay the thing is i’m saying but like
i feel like a doctor’s done that so many
times you kind of get it down
and also not to mention you’ve gone to
school for [ __ ] 10 years
yeah so but he’s like hey [ __ ] this kid
i’m gonna make him laugh you agree with
dudes being a [ __ ] doctor
what’s it called
uh a gynecologist it’s a gynecologist a
an ecologist interesting interesting
here’s the thing i get that sometimes
they’re like oh my
aunt had like you know yeah ovarian
and they want to fix the world yeah
that’s right that is like 15
i’m saying one that is something that is
something you get like
that doesn’t sound like something that’s
a choice it’s like okay you can go into
as a as a man you know instantly you’re
thinking okay
you think you’re uncomfortable this
girl’s spread eagle up here and i’m
looking obviously she’s gonna be
like why would you want to be in that
why would you say somehow
you got into that position okay you’re
that doctor when you walk in you’re
gonna tell them that you’re gay
yeah yeah i would say it instantly would
instantly would make them or or or i
would have
a picture like of you and me and just
say like oh that’s oh that yeah that’s
that’s my husband
that picture of us like and go out of my
yeah and go out and go out on my way
back oh yeah me and my husband moved
here yeah
so and so and then it it would ease that
it would easily put her at ease for sure
yeah i would but at the same time i
would never be in that situation because
guess what i’m not going to go up there
back i want to be a [ __ ] doctor
yeah yeah the the whole [ __ ] doctor
it’s like it’s like that’s not that that
is a woman’s job because it is
because it’s a woman a woman knows the
same way
even though i’ve had women give me a
physical that was a little awkward but
i’m saying the same way that was the
same way that was
i could see how that would be even kind
of horrific for girls
yeah and it’s even worse because when
it’s a dude doing it they have a woman
in the place too watching to make sure
nothing goes on
so you have two people looking at your
[ __ ] so you’re apparently the only
they don’t even trust the doctor went to
no it’s like a
it’s just like if they have to have a
woman in there they don’t trust him not
to what
freaking rape the girl like dude
yo he’s destroying her light hey
this cat is a crack okay you hold on for
are you
you talk to the masses talk to the
okay well now he’s coming around the
yo hey get him out
say hi to the camera hi god
okay you know what’s gonna happen is
someone on youtube is going to be like
you didn’t hold that cat right
and do you ever win jenna marbles after
everything we just talked about you
think that’s the thing they’re going to
do you think that’s the thing jenna
marbles didn’t have the right filter for
her fish tank and she had to make a
public apology
jenna marbles wasn’t there a [ __ ] on
twitch that threw her cat
elinity yeah serenity that she threw her
yeah and showed her coochie on twitch
and she doesn’t get banned but doctor
yeah yeah anyways there was
okay we know jenna marbles i don’t know
how we know who that is but i don’t even
i i’ve never watched i’m either i’ve
never watched single movie yeah i mean
um so apparently she was like oh my god
i’m so excited about my fish
and cancel culture [ __ ] comes through
and he’s like you have
the wrong filter for these fish and she
had to get on an apology video bawling
her eyes out because i said they were
gonna kill her fish
it was like she got an off-brand filter
like what the [ __ ] cares
yeah the fish are happy other than that
they’re going to be sitting in petco for
eight years till they fix that they they
die so who cares
have you ever been in petco how does
stay in business who gets the animals
are they hunters it’s like i’m a hunter
for petco
they like hire like mercenaries to go
like grab pets like bulletproof vests
and like ars or like
like steel like the extracting of bin
laden but for pets and they’re like
flying night vision and [ __ ]
they they find their way here’s
something like this it’s like the hunger
like how is how is i know like pet
stores have certain things for certain
but i’m saying
outside that specific circle it’s like
how are they paying for this big
you know all this what is the markup on
a fish because they’re like 50 cents
yeah i don’t but there’s also like
millions from what we’ve learned from
finding nemo is they have a big net
and they just get them yeah but i’m
saying there’s so many fish and you can
it’s a lot of efficiency
yeah there’s too many account but i’m
saying the thing is
how they pay the overhead there’s not
especially now
and especially like even years ago i’m
saying you could go anywhere and get cat
food and
dog food obviously you want a glass you
go on craigslist you don’t buy one for
like well it’s a siamese indonesian cat
it’s like i don’t care i just want this
cat will do your taxes
it’s got little glasses
yeah i don’t [ __ ] know how that place
yeah dude he is
we have a cat that’s out of control he’s
just knocking [ __ ] over
that’s a co2 tank you killed yourself
blows us up kills us that’s episode yeah
hey we will not be seeing you next week
yes not next week
um so the other thing i was gonna so uh
you were telling me earlier
about seal team dolphin six
okay this okay i actually read this
listen this is
it’s [ __ ] hilarious but it’s also
like it’s kind of like cool
and very thought-provoking but this is
[ __ ] up apparently at one point
the military slash navy whatever you
want to call um whatever branch or both
of them
um because this is actually fact
dolphins are
some of the most intelligent creatures
they’re the second most intelligent
they’re more correct yeah they’re
only the only other mammal that rapes
each other yes and
um so anyways they’re like really
intelligent so they
actually i forgot how many was like 50
or something like that they actually at
one point
they armed these the
and they put like there’s like these
harpoon guns that saw toxic darts
that like it would shoot it would kill
like if it hit somebody would kill him
but like dude this cat man
oliver stop these he’s so close to the
frame it’s going like godzilla’s
attacking a building
anyways about the dolphins and the
light’s still good and apparently
and apparently like so they were using
these dolphins and then they all like
went missing
it’s like you could put turrets on it
but you kept the trackers on them
dude who hit the cia it was like
a picture obviously he was armed the dog
obviously was animated pictures it
wasn’t real but they had like two sentry
guns on top of this dolphin swimming and
it was [ __ ] hilarious
dude can you imagine it’s like hey you
know what let’s just spend the taxpayers
money on guns for dolphins
you imagine like like al qaeda or
whatever being like
we got swarmed look at him oh my god
okay we’re just gonna let him do his
thing um
bro you tilt the camera on him tilt the
camera on him i’ll keep
keep tilt the camera tilt the camera on
him right now
look at this [ __ ] cat he’s on crack
he’s stuck in the light
he’s just chilling he’s just chilling in
dude look at him he’s just sitting down
are you getting this on camera
look what he’s doing
get out of there it’s not it’s not a
come on is he sitting down
hold on wait wait wait i gotta i gotta
[ __ ] record things
i gotta record a little bit of this
oh my god bro
we’ll cut this out of the audio one but
not the big one
i like this all right well now you’ve
all met oliver our intern
i guess they can’t hear me
all right now that you’ve all met our
intern oliver um
he will soon be getting a talk in the
next monday morning meeting
anyway so the thing with the [ __ ]
dolphins man
is that imagine being the guy that like
escapes the attack and he’s like going
back to like
the taliban or whatever i’m like
explaining your stories
we got ambushed by the imagination you
get shot down right okay so
the pilot enemy pilot falls
they got paint on their faces saying he
he looks underwater and he sees like 20
they’re all just coming towards him he’s
one of them’s got like a like a burton
sucker in his mouth and like a backwards
they’re playing fortunate son like the
18 when they jump out of the plane then
seal team banana split [ __ ]
god that’s fine um yeah i
uh so here’s another question are
terrorists are they
gangs or do they claim themselves as
terrorists or do we call them terrorists
we call them terrorists because they
terrorize most of the major cities so
isis by the way awful song by logic
logic if you’re listening [ __ ] you yeah
jordan lucas actually went off and oh no
yeah jordan lucas
g logic
here’s the thing with logic
okay i could not i’m sorry i
i cannot sing one line of any song he’s
ever put out i’m not saying it
he’s want to be alive i guess that one
but i’m saying
i don’t want like ever i’ve always known
that this [ __ ]
even back there like yeah he can like he
could spit he’s got some bars on it but
then that’s like i’ve never listened to
i’m sorry i’m not saying he sucks i’m
just saying i just never have you ever
been to a single get together someone’s
like hey can you play this logic song no
yeah i feel like he was the crowd of
wannabe white boy rappers
i mean he’s good at rapping rapping
i’m not around i’m not a rabbit but i’m
not a rapper but um
you know what you remember that glasses
jacket shirt
call me glasses jacket shirt man two
baby sitters
no babies do you ever uh remember that
group called millie vanilli
yes the group that lips lip sync that
actually made lip syncing like a thing
lip synced and then they obviously
avoided performing live because they
lip sync everything this is how you make
your money in that business exactly
which nowadays actually didn’t look too
but and then at north like i don’t know
people call it different things they
call it milli vanilli it’s like when
each class performs in the or whatever
assembly thing and why what do they
what i want to know is
did you ever do like an embarrassing
thing in front of the whole school
and if yes what is that embarrassing
um so
do you know poetry out loud right
yeah okay so my senior year um you know
when you can
inspect element on google chrome and
change things around right
yeah okay so i proceeded to find a
branded poem on poe
the officialpoetryoutloud.gov for wayne
wasn’t it
yeah so i’ve replaced the picture with
lillian’s picture because you can change
the source in the html
and then i change all the lyrics so i
did president carter the second verse
great song great songs changed all the
cuss words to just other [ __ ]
and then i printed it off and gave it to
mrs ray
and she was like oh i guess it’s
legitimate so i stood up in front of the
whole [ __ ] school and did
the entire second president carter
president carter no it was uh i
president carl
no it was uh no i literally sat up there
i was like nobody gives you a chance
you’ve got to take chances your family
i will break branches because i don’t
give a anything
i put the something in assassin smoke
you like a cigar
then it’s ashes to ashes i did the whole
freaking thing
and then someone ratted on me i got a
zero out of a hundred and then i would
have given you like a c for showmanship
i know
right it’s like i tried i would give you
a c for sure anyways
because you could have also just printed
out a legitimate one not but you went
the extra mile to get some get some good
content in there
and then i had to because it already
happened and so mrs ray
gave me a second chance and i had to
repeat some real poem and i [ __ ] it up
do you remember when jake brown did
portrayal baked as [ __ ] i remember that
cause i’m saying he did it because you
know you do it in the classroom and then
you say it
and then they pick whoever and obviously
he’s not thinking he’s gonna [ __ ] get
into his free
and she picks him he’s just [ __ ] and
he’s what’s funny is like some teachers
like didn’t see past the [ __ ]
they’re like this kid’s really what’s
the meanest thing you’ve ever done
to anyone yeah i feel like you’ve done
some mean [ __ ] and made people cry um
yes i have something yes um
my yeah i regret this
highly my sophomore year i had a girl
send me some pictures and i then
proceeded to send them around
no it’s jesus no i so sorry i did not
send them
what the voice i showed them to a
certain friend one friend
i know who it is yeah i know it is i
one friend sorry his name starts with
the j
his name no starts with a t
oh i also okay yes um yeah okay
i showed him one picture that’s all i
got was one picture and it wasn’t
anything bad it was just like you know
the upper body and uh he then
and i thought that was fine i thought
they look great and pepperoni tits
yeah and he proceeded to tell the whole
[ __ ] oh
no i felt like absolute [ __ ]
that was awesome because it was actually
me just like being a bro just like hey
yeah like peek at this like it was like
i thought it was badass i’m like
especially when you’re like 16 it’s like
yeah i was like 15. yeah that was like
cool like like hey like i thought i’d
get like a high five like yeah i’m not
going to send this but i’m saying like
i didn’t send that that’s what i’m
saying that’s what i’m saying showed him
i showed one person he told the whole
yeah so that was pretty [ __ ] up i felt
pretty bad about that and now you
thank you i’ve never done anything i
i’m just kidding actually i think i oh
well i broke that one kid’s arm but i
told that story on i told that story um
but that wasn’t me that was
self-defense one of your best friends
oh you know the embarrassing thing i had
to apologize for the whole school for
making out my best friend’s sister
nice nice
essentially that was like that’s the
cliff note of that whole thing yeah
but i think we’re out of time so i think
we’re gonna
only at 35 but
[ __ ] it i guess uh thank you everyone
for watching around the lunch table
episode 23
we are back here on npr the hour on 93.7
and we are
giving you the classic favorites all the
hits here on the hour everywhere 98
minutes of stop
on nonstop music after the ad break oh
when dj master cushion the function
where are my honey’s at and what are
they doing with that ass baby
um hey everyone thank you for checking
out episode 23.
um again we have our new website out we
have our new merch website coming out
and we have a lot new merch new designs
a lot of new merch coming out shout out
the great jake todd follow him on
instagram he’s designing some more merch
for us
and giving us a beautiful painting um
guys the download’s been off the hook
off the hook
um it’s been great uh
download’s been awesome thank you
everyone for checking us out
um yeah and it’s been a it’s been a
bumpy ride also hold on
it’s a bumpy ride but just strap in and
enjoy it uh it’s all you can really do
jack where can they find you they can
find me at jack underscore spence on
instagram z where can they find you
um they can find me at isaiah underscore
lesney on instagram or at around lunch
table instagram you can find both of our
handles there and they can find all of
inside a [ __ ] light and he’s still
there he’s still there he’s just
just sitting there and he sits like a
human he just sits there anyway
thank you guys for tuning in um again
the downloads are really picking up and
we are just
absolutely thrilled so thrilled
yeah um we’re hoping as time goes on
um we’re gonna spice things up i mean
i’m sure at some point we’re gonna start
doing two episodes a week
so actually that’s a good segue to this
so apple
uh has just come out with a new
subscription program we were thinking
about going to patreon
but uh just so you guys know we are
going to be releasing
episodes a week early uh doing some
other exclusive content things we also
have a very
cool episode coming soon whenever my
uncle’s not being grumpy
uh conspiracy episode yeah a conspiracy
very excited about that um not gonna be
the normal comedy [ __ ] it’s gonna be a
few hours it’s gonna be a little
smoking cigars just the boys yeah so i
mean obviously we do all the comedy [ __ ]
it’s the same thing that’s probably a
little common yeah but it’s gonna be if
you’re into conspiracy things
give a [ __ ] listen but it’s gonna be
a lot longer and [ __ ] so it’s not gonna
be pretty
cool but yeah um um and even though
we’re not
now doing the patreon thing because the
subscription service for apple podcast
is happening um
we’re still gonna be doing the normal
like episode a week it’s just with that
you’ll get an episode a week early and
probably an extra episode
yeah so you got an extra episode each
month that the next episode that doesn’t
go on the normal one
exactly extra episode each month an
episode a week early also some exclusive
and because um when the subscription
starts it’s
it’s not a thing yet so don’t worry
about it um when it does
the ones that don’t air we’re definitely
gonna be a little more wild on those
ones so you’ll be
sure because i’m saying if people are
gonna you know pay this pay a little
subscription thing to like see the other
and like get them early we are going to
go [ __ ] buck wild around the lunch
table after dark
and it’s going to be [ __ ] good like
it’s going to be raunchy
it’s going to be bad it’s going to be
bumpy it’s going to be bad it’s going to
be more better
to cancel culture just don’t click play
yeah if you’re part of cat’s culture
don’t play it um
this is this is this is rated pg
compared to that yeah
so it’s gonna be bad uh but yeah that
pretty much does it
so yeah thank you all for listening and
we’ll see you next week and see ya
let’s get rowdy up in here

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Episode 23